Letter to Baby Ben, on his 3-month birthday

Dear Ben,

You are an amazing baby! (Sure, all mothers think that about their babies, and I'd have a hard time arguing that they're wrong. But whatever--this isn't their blog post; it's yours, so getting back to *you*....) I wanted to write some of my favorite things about this time with you because it's going by so fast, and I don't want to forget.

Probably my favorite thing is when you look up at me when I'm feeding and/or holding you.... You have this look in your eyes, like you're just taking it all in. So open and innocent, but in a way that almost seems wise. Like you have this wisdom that you brought with you from wherever you came from, like you're a foreigner in a new country, processing and making sense of all that you see. And then you'll suddenly break into a smile--a smile that could light up a whole city. In the wintertime. Your daddy and I call them smiles from heaven, because it actually kind of feels like heaven itself is smiling on us. It really does! You are so sweet, and beautiful--you pretty much just feel like pure love.

As you can tell, you have doting parents. We've been through this before, but circumstances are such that we are both in a position to enjoy it much more this time around. It's funny to think back about how disruptive a baby once seemed. It seems as natural as can be this time. And you know, we've always been very happy with each other, but since you've come along it's off the charts. You bring so much love and joy to us all, each and every day.

Another thing I love about you-right-now is how you laugh when we change your clothes. You think it's hilarious when we pull a onesie up over your head! And I love how you look at art, like you're really evaluating and appreciating it.... And even though I joke about the country music thing, I do get a kick out of your defined musical taste. And a little more about your smile: when I smile at you, I love how you smile back at me with this twinkle in your eye, almost as if we're sharing a private joke, the best private joke ever.

And I'm sorry if it sounds like bragging (hey, that's my right as your mom)--but you are one beautiful baby boy. Seriously. Even strangers stop us to tell us so, and they also remark on how happy and smiley you are. An old lady stopped me in the supermarket the other day to say what a cute, happy baby you are. Of course I had to agree.

I love your perfect little eyebrows... Laurie calls them "painted-on" eyebrows. And I love how you arch/raise them sometimes when you are interacting with people. It's quite the sophisticated little look.

I love how you are getting really into your books, especially Pat the Bunny. It's sooooo sweet.

And I love how your siblings are responding to you. It's hard to express how much sweetness fills my heart when I see them interacting with you. Of course, I also love watching you and your dad together.

Well, I'd better go catch some zzzz ("Sleep when the baby sleeps", and all that). Your Uncle Metro and Barbara are here to visit you, and we're all going to Woodstock (the concert venue) tomorrow. Your daddy and I are excited to take you there--we went there last year on our anniversary, right around the time you first came into existence.

Anyway, thanks for being you, and for bringing me such boundless joy:-)

Love,

Mom

PS--a few photos of you over the last month:

With Lindsey at the tennis court

With big brother Brad

George reading to you on his bed

With Lindsey on the courts again, while we play

With Laurie, at the big party we had today to welcome Uncle Metro and Barbara to Binghamton

Summer Camp Time!

Summer's in full swing, and that means camp for George, though he has scaled back a bit from past years. He used to go to camp pretty much all summer, but his tastes have become more specific and he's narrowed it down to just a few that he really loves this year--all at our Discovery Center. Last week it was "Myths and Legends" week, and the camp for his age group was Mythical Creatures. They learned about vampires, dragons, werewolves, etc. It was extremely well done, with crafts that even the usually craft-averse George loved, and really cool themed snacks that they helped make of course, like dragon cookies and werewolf cupcakes.

The counselor was awesome, and really enjoyed George. A counselor who was not so on top of her game might not have, since George was already something of an expert on mythical creatures, and also has never been the type to keep silent in a classroom setting if he disagrees or has a particular opinion! For example, one day I stayed for the beginning of camp, and the counselor was talking about mermaids. She said that there had been sightings of mermaids reported throughout history, including by Christopher Columbus. George raised his hand and when called on, he announced "But you can't trust anything that Christopher Columbus said, because he was a liar!" Then another kid jumped in and said "Yeah, and he didn't really discover America! There were already people here!" Without missing a beat, the counselor said, "Well, Christopher Columbus isn't here to defend himself, so let's leave him alone for now..." and took the conversation right back to mermaids, which seemed fine with everyone--they had gotten to speak their peace!

On the last day they wore costumes and got their faces painted. George chose to dress as a vampire, and he had a truly inspired idea for his face-painting:
















Here's a closer look:
















Creepy, huh?

And here he is with his counselor:
















The kids paraded around a bit with a Chinese dragon, had refreshments, and received award certificates. George's was for "Most Informed", which didn't surprise me one bit!































Next up: Galumpha camp!

Back out there with the Band

It was great to be back out gigging again, especially for such a fun and appreciative audience as the firemen turned out to be! And Baby Ben survived it just fine (and my pal who watched him survived his fussy time--whew).

The funniest thing that happened at this gig was when a guy came up to me during the break and asked me if I'd slap him. What?? For real? Yes. He didn't seem like a total creep or anything--in fact, he seemed like a very nice young fireman--so I said ok, and gave him a good ole slap across the face. It was kinda fun actually. (Is that wrong?!) He thanked me and walked away.

Very soon after that a slightly older fireman came up and said to me, "What did my son say to you??!" I just laughed and said something like, "Well, I don't really want to repeat it, but let's just say we're even now." He apologized profusely for his son's rudeness, and then walked away. A little while later I was at the bar getting a refill on my water (I get very thirsty when I sing!), and the young guy, the son, came up to me and thanked me again, both for slapping him and for not giving him away when his dad asked me about it. It turns out that he had made a bet with his friends. He told them that he wanted to come up and talk to me, and they said they didn't think he had the guts (I *told* you it was an appreciative audience!). He then upped the ante and told them what he planned on saying to me, which he didn't repeat to me, but was obviously something quite bold. They said he wouldn't dare say that! And he said oh-yes-he-would, and walked up to me... and you know the rest. Anyway, I guess this mama's still got it ;-)

Baby Ben: Lover of the Arts

This baby is tuned into the arts, has preferences, and lets us know about them.

First of all, he hates a blank wall. From very, very soon after we brought him home from the hospital he has fixated on paintings or wall-hangings of various types. We have a painting above our bed that he loves to stare at, and will crane his neck to try to see until we turn him around and let him look right at it. He'll stare at it for very lengthy periods of time. I get an extra kick out of this because of the sentimental value of the painting; it's something my sister did many years ago, when I was still a kid, of the bedpost of my grandmother's bed:

He also loves the photograph of the mosaic on the floor in the San Marco cathedral in Venice that we have hanging over his changing table:

As soon as we set him down, he starts moving his head around so that he can see it better. And he doesn't just stare at these works of art--he actually "talks" to them and smiles at them and even laughs!


And whenever we take him into a new room or place, he immediately scans the walls for artwork. Friends' houses, the dentist's office, you name it--he wants to see the art. And if he doesn't find any to look at, he fusses a little bit, and gives us this look like, WTF? Where's the art, man?

Second, he has a definite musical taste. Of course I'm thrilled that he's so tuned into music. However, I'm not so sure about his genre of choice: country. It all started when he was in the womb. As I'm pretty sure I've mentioned, he'd go *nuts* in there every time I'd play Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues with the band. (If you don't know it, it has a very driving rhythm, at least the way we play it. And it's one of the songs I play on guitar.) I couldn't really tell if he loved it or hated it, but it never failed to get a big reaction out of him, and I'd often have to try pretty hard not to crack up on stage. Band on the Run never got that kind of reaction out of him, or any of the other songs I play guitar on! You might think that perhaps he was gravitating toward what we had familiarized him with, but that's really not the case. That is the *only* country song we play, and we never played it all that often (I mean, we played it for every gig we had, but we played lots and lots of songs at our gigs. And it's not like we were working on this one and practicing it all the time, because it's a song we already had down long before he came along). So it was, and remains, a mystery why he responded so strongly to that song, every single time.


And he still loves it. The other night Bob and I were up in the man cave going over our set list for this gig; Ben slept through most of it. But at a certain point he woke up and was very fussy, so I held and fed him while singing/practicing the conga beats on my knees. Quite the multi-tasker, I know. Anyway, the one thing I couldn't do while holding him was play guitar, and we did have one song left that we hadn't gone over yet, which was--you guessed it--Folsom Prison. So I set him down his his bouncy seat and he immediately started to fuss, very actively. Not all-out-bawling, but on the verge. Well, as soon as we started strumming the first bar he stopped all fussing and was completely riveted. Spellbound, even. Staring at me and my guitar with this look of total wonder and awe. I was wishing I had a camera handy! It was amazing.

We have also discovered that he loves the soundtrack to Crazy Heart (a movie Bob and I loved and saw like 3 times... it's the only country record we own, and we bought it because we so admired the songwriting in the movie). If he gets fussy in the car, we put it on, and it placates him. We have to play it at a pretty high volume, though. And if we get sick of it and turn the volume down or, heaven forbid, put something else on, he'll let us know he's *not* ok with that. Even it seems like he's asleep. He'll wake right up and make it clear that we'd better crank that sucker back up again!


Bob has taken to calling him our little shit-kicker :-) And we're taking this as proof that God has a sense of humor, that rocker parents would end up with a baby who only has ears for country....

The Baby and the Band

We have a bunch of gigs lined up for the second half of the summer, starting with one today, so I've been back in full swing with band practice. It has not been entirely smooth! But we're working it out, and it feels great to be back.

Our first gig is perfect to start out with, because it is short--two one-hour sets, with a short break in between. We've worked it out so that I won't be needed for the second half of the second set, so I can leave early. I'll be leaving Ben at home with my best pal (who is also one of his godmothers) and plenty of pumped milk and instructions re. what to do if he gets fussy (dip in the hot tub followed by time in his swing). I'm actually feeling ok about leaving him for this short amount of time, with someone I completely trust, and am hopeful about how it will go.

I've participated in two full practices so far, to get ready for this gig. For the first one, we had George watch Ben (just right upstairs from us!), which did not go so very well, I'm afraid. The problem is that practice happens to be right at Ben's fussy time. Ben was fine when I left him to go downstairs, but before long he was screaming his head off. George was so frustrated and felt so bad that he was powerless to help his little brother that he soon joined Ben in the tear-shedding department. Fortunately, our sound guy (Les, who is also one of Ben's godfathers) came to the rescue, putting Ben in the "football hold" while walking him around, and getting him to sleep right away. At that point their daughter who was home from college stepped in and held Ben for the rest of practice.

So this week we thought we'd try having my stepdaughter Lindsey watch Ben during practice, because she is really incredible with him. In fact, sometimes she can calm him down even when Bob and I can't! We call her the junior mommy, which she loves. She's only 9, and I wouldn't even think of leaving her truly alone with him, but I figured she could handle being upstairs from us. Practice lasts only about an hour and a half, and she watches him all the time at home--including during his fussy time. But in fact it was a bit rough on her! I came up in between songs at a certain point and her eyes were welling up with tears as she told me that it was too hard! He wasn't actually crying with Lindsey--he's sooo comfortable with her--but he was wiggling all over the place and she just didn't know what to do to settle him. I put him in the stroller and walked him around the living room and dining room until they really needed me downstairs again, at which point Les once again came to the rescue, getting Ben calm enough to where he fell out hard next to Lindsey on the couch. Probably what we need to do is just bring the swing to band practice with us, because that works pretty much every time. I'm also contemplating getting some noise-canceling headphones for him, so he could even be downstairs with us while we play.

Anyway... playing our old songs again (covers, as opposed to our own music which we've been playing exclusively since mid-February) has been a lot of fun. I have absolutely been loving the recording process, but getting back to our standard set list has also felt great--like putting on a pair of really comfy-but-cute shoes and stepping out to dance the night away!

The gig is a party put on by the firemen in a nearby town. Since it's relatively short, we'll be playing only songs that are our very favorites, including the debut of two songs that we've recorded but have never before performed in public.

Wish me luck!