Sunday, April 26, 2009

Let's hear it for Tuesdays!

Ok, so I have a new theory. It's not that George is overworked--it's that he's overscheduled. A good bit of that is, unfortunately, very difficult to avoid; I have a job (as a professor), so I have to schedule things for him for those times when I can't be with him. There are days when I work from home, and back when we were part-time homeschooling, those were our unschool days. We'd stay at home mostly; I'd work on my things and he'd work on his, and I'd take little breaks throughout the day to have lunch or a snack with him, or to hear all about the book he was reading, or tour his museum exhibit in his room, or read his latest literary creation, etc. But the way our schedule has developed, we don't have days like that anymore, and I'm thinking that we need to fix that.

It's funny, because I think some friends and family have this idea that homeschooling must be rather lonely for George--they seem to imagine the two of us locked away in the house all day long, deprived or starved of contact with other human beings, especially other kids. Little could be further from the truth! He goes to classes or playgroups with other homeschoolers almost every day: Shakespeare on Mondays, playgroup on Wednesdays (after his recorder lesson), group activities of various kinds on Thursdays (art/drama/chess club/etc.), and on Fridays, Spanish class in the morning and a social studies class (civil rights/gov't/etc.) in the afternoon. That leaves Tuesdays free, but Tuesdays are a busy teaching day for me, so George is with a sitter in the morning and spends the afternoon on campus with his dad (my ex, who is also a professor). George loves each and every one of these activities, and he also loves each of his sitters/caregivers (he currently has three) that help me shuttle him around and oversee his other work. But I think he really is missing having more time to hang out at home, to just be creative and/or see what develops. (Weekends are generally quite packed, and the house is usually abuzz with activity and kids, including my two stepchildren.)

Fortunately, my semester is about to end, and the work that I'll have to do between now and next fall can be done almost entirely from home. So, George will still have his activities almost every day, but Tuesdays will be gloriously open. Maybe we'll even designate them as PJ day. Or bathing suit day, since we're about to open the pool. Sounds good to me!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Slave-driver or enabler?

I've been homeschooling my 9-year-old son on a part-time basis for the better part of two years now, but am relatively new to doing it full-time. Mostly, I am loving it, but for the last week or so I have been struggling with the following question:

How do you gauge when you're pushing your kid too hard?

When I was homeschooling him only part-time, I was super-unschooly. I loved it, and so did he. I knew the basics (math, science, handwriting, etc.) were being taken care of by his Montessori teacher, so at home we just focused on educational activities, field trips, reading-for-fun, and the like. But now that he's no longer in school, it's all on me to make sure he does what he needs to do. Well, how much is too much? How little is not enough?

He's enrolled in two online classes for gifted kids (one in reading/writing, and one in math) and, for the most part, he has been enjoying and doing well with them. We also participate in several classes and playgroups with other homsechoolers locally. Up until a couple of weeks ago, he was on such a roll with his work, but for the last two weeks he has done very little without my pushing very, very insistently (which I *hate* doing, and which he hates probably even more). Is it possible that the kid just needs a break??

It's just so hard to navigate that line in my mind between not pushing him and falling into laziness. I myself have great natural tendencies toward laziness, so probably I'm acting out my own neuroses on him, which isn't fair. On the other hand, I do want to make sure he accomplishes the great things he's clearly capable of, and I don't want to raise a kid who doesn't have any self-discipline, or any sense of the value or importance or benefits of working hard.

Something else that is in play in all of this, I must admit, is that I have a bit of an axe to grind with of all of the teachers who have complained over the years that he isn't a good worker. I want to prove those *&^%$#s wrong! I mean, he is a really phenomenal worker--*some*times. But not so much the last couple of weeks.

Well, I guess I probably have been pushing him too hard. We went to California on vacation three weeks ago, and I made him keep up with his online work there almost every day. Plus, he's been a bit under the weather this week. He probably just really needs a little break. But when I think about other kids who are in school for 7 straight hours a day, I hardly seem like a slave-driver by comparison....

Ok, I suppose I definitely have been pushing him too hard. This is a kid whose mind pretty much never stops, and who's way ahead of grade-level on pretty much every subject anyway, so I probably need to just lighten up a little bit. I guess there really isn't any harm in taking it easy on a beautiful, spring day, and letting him bask (/wallow?!) in his own creativity. Maybe I need to reacquaint myself with the unschooling days he and I have both loved so much... when he would spend the whole day setting up a museum in his room, or writing a comic book, or reading for pleasure, or even just enjoying all the great toys he has but never really seems to have enough time to play with. I guess it wouldn't kill either of us if I just relaxed.

At least, I sure hope not.