Wednesday, December 22, 2010

To Grade, or Not to Grade?

I'm late turning in my first quarterly report for George (shhhh! Don't tell the authorities--they seem not to have noticed yet). But it's not because I don't have it done. I actually finished it early, over a month ago. It's because I'm wrestling with the question of grades.

I'm not required by NYS to assign grades. I could just say he "passes" everything. Or even that he's "excellent" at everything--though even that brings up a similar set of questions.

Basically, if I give him grades, my question boils down to this: do I base them on his effort, his achievement relative to other 5th graders, or his achievement relative to what I think he's capable of?

There are arguments that could be made for and against each of the above options. Let's take effort. The effort he puts into things. He works hard at reading and writing (though actually, none of it feels like work to him, because it's his passion! But he spends an abundance of time and energy on these things), so based on that, it would be an easy call to give him an A. Ok, maybe this is a bad example--if we're going to hand out grades, there's no way he deserves anything other than an A in Language Arts. But you get my point. Should grades be assigned based on effort? Part of me likes the idea, and part of me thinks it's kind of, well, lame. Because you could try really hard at something and still not be good at it... is that going to earn you the blue ribbon? And of course you can try not very hard at all at something and still be quite good at it. So I think perhaps "achievement" is a better thing for grades to measure.

But if we are going to measure achievement, what do we base that on? If it's based on what he is achieving relative to other 5th graders, then I'd give him an A in everything, because he's ahead of grade level in everything. Does that render the grades meaningless? Maybe. Yet, isn't that in some sense what the grades are intended to measure in the first place? How well any given kid is doing based on what our expectations are for the given level?

Or do we measure achievement based on what I feel he could possibly, potentially achieve? What a slippery slope that is, however. Are there areas I feel he could be achieving more in? Perhaps. I mean, one could pretty much always do better in anything, at least potentially. So, I'm not sure that's such a helpful road to travel.

All of these things might point to not giving him any grades at all. On some level, that appeals to me. His learning is very much its own reward, and I think he would agree with that. Several years into this homeschooling thing, we've managed to find, in pretty much every area, curricula/approaches/work that are a great fit for him. He's passionate about learning, has been doing plenty of it, and seems to be very much enjoying it all.

On the other hand, I'm at least mildly concerned about building a transcript or record of some sort for him for his future endeavors. I know he's only 10. And probably I could always go back and fill in grades if he suddenly needed them for something.

Or maybe I'm still on some level attached to the idea of grades (having loved the feeling of getting good grades myself back in the day). Maybe the notion of George having straight As just makes me feel good. Or maybe I feel it somehow legitimizes what we're doing here. I know that probably sounds sort of dumb, but if I'm being honest, I think somewhere inside of me I do just like the idea of grades (just as well, since they're a big part of my job and all!!!!). I don't know.

Then there are the related issues of motivation and self-esteem. Take math. He's working ahead of grade level on it. But he's not as far ahead in math as he is in reading/writing, nor does he devote the time or energy to it that he devotes to words. So does he deserve a lower grade in it? Maybe. But I know he's learning the material, and I'd be willing to bet good money that what he's doing would earn him a solid A in school. But should I give him a slightly lower grade anyway, to inspire him to work harder at it? I could try that. But I'm afraid that might backfire. Despite his successes in math (including some very high scores on standardized tests), because it doesn't come as easily to him as other subjects have, he's convinced that he's "terrible" at it. I would hate to reinforce this view in any way, which a lower grade would likely do.

But, still on the self-esteem question, is giving him As for being ahead of grade-level simply rewarding him for being smart? I read a very convincing article awhile back about the importance of praising kids for their effort (something over which they have control) rather than for being intelligent (something they were born with and over which they have little control). Praising them for their hard work empowers them, while praising them for being smart makes their self-image too tied to the idea of being so, and makes them afraid to try new things that they might not be so good at and that might "reveal" that they aren't as smart as everyone thinks. (I wrote more about this in the past, here.) But maybe that's not so relevant. He is, after all, doing the above-grade-level work. I wouldn't be rewarding him simply for being *capable* of doing above-grade-level work.

I don't know. Probably I'm over-thinking this. Besides, I need to get on with my holiday preparations. I guess I'll give it another day or two, and then just decide. In the meantime, comments and suggestions are welcome!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Baby Ben, Wordsmith

Wow, do I love being Baby Ben's mom! It is a delight. I keep wanting each stage to last, thinking it's the very best one, but then when the next one comes I like it even better! Actually, I seem to remember that happening when George was a baby, too....

The newborn phase was just extraordinary--as I've mentioned, I was better able to enjoy it the second time around for a whole slew of reasons, including that I was less overwhelmed and knew what I was doing this time. But as amazing as that was, it keeps getting better :-)

Now he's six months, and is going to town with language, which is particularly fun. He was a super-early talker, saying "Mama" and sometimes "Mom" at 3 1/2 months, though he only ever says it when he's hungry. But it's been quite consistent. The first time he said it, he was with Lindsey in the living room and I was in the kitchen. He said it very loudly and very clearly. It stopped both Lindsey and me in our tracks! Anyway, it's very handy, because as I said, he only says it when he's hungry, so that narrows it right down for us. Although I should add that one time in the car recently he was fussing for "Mama" and we tried popping in one of his country music CDs (his new favorite is the soundtrack for "O Brother, Where Art Thou"). He stopped fussing *immediately*. I mean, like, within the first note or two. So we've decided that "Mama" means not only "I'm ready for some milk" but also "Please crank up the country music."

We thought for sure, given how very much he adores Bob, that his next word would be "Dada" or "Dad", and it *sort* of was, but he really hasn't said it with any consistency. (He has said it maybe 5 times or so.) We theorize that this is because Bob is pretty much always by his side, so he has very little reason to have to call out to him to get his attention! In any case, he does have very effective ways of getting Bob's attention from nearby: he will bat his arms at Bob until Bob turns to him, and then he'll give Bob what we call "The Look". It's a look that says "Dad, I want to snuggle into your chest, and I want this more than anything in the whole world, so please don't even try to resist; just pick me up right now 'cuz who are we kidding--we both know you're going to." It's equal parts love, longing, and the knowledge that the longing is about to be satisfied. He has done this combination of inching himself over to Bob, batting him, and giving him The Look pretty much since the day we brought him home from the hospital.

I guess his next word was "hi", which he started saying last month. He says it when he's trying to get our attention, like when he wakes up next to me and I'm still sleeping, or if I'm on my laptop and he's ready for me to turn my attention to him. The utterance of "hi" is often accompanied by one of his trademark smiles (more about those in a minute). One particularly funny time when he said it was at Campfire, when one of the homeschool moms was playing peek-a-boo with him in his stroller when I had gone out of the room for a second to take a phone call. When I came back in, she said, "I could swear he just said hi to me!!" Yep!

His next word was "baby", though he doesn't say it with a lot of consistency yet, either. He does this thing, though, when I'm saying a word to him, where he looks so intently at my mouth, and you can almost see the wheels turning as he's taking it all in, and then he starts moving his mouth in imitation, first without vocalizing, just making the motion with his mouth and then with his tongue, and then he'll sort of whisper it, and then he'll finally vocalize. Then he'll keep practicing just making the motion with his mouth and doing an almost silent whisper. It's pretty cool to watch! To see the learning in action like that. Probably my favorite ever moments as a teacher. Anyway, as I said, he doesn't say it with much consistency and it's mostly repeating after us when we say it to him. Though one morning he woke us up by practicing: "Ba-ba-ba-ba-Baby! Ba-ba-ba-ba-Baby!" So now we say that all the time, to him, and about him to each other ("It's a ba-ba-ba-ba-baby!"). Yeah, we're total goners.

Next was "book", which actually comes out as "boo" (not "boo" like what a ghost says. "Boo" like the word "book" without the "k" at the end). It's mostly in response to when we say it to him, repeating it back to us (and oftentimes in that adorable little barely audible whisper), so I'm not sure it really counts yet. He definitely knows what it means, though--boy does he jerk to attention if you ask him if he wants to read a book! He loves, loves, loves book time, which we have every morning (and sometimes again throughout the day, but the morning one is our routine). His favorite books are Pat the Bunny, which he has particularly loved since he was 3 months old; Moo, Baa, La La La (awesome Sanrda Boynton book about the animal sounds); Blue Hat, Green Hat (another Sandra Boynton book that makes him laugh--he especially loves the last page where the dressed-up turkey is diving off the high-dive into the pool; he seems to get that this is funny); Daddy Loves Me (very sweet book about daddies and babies that I gave Bob for Christmas last year, when Baby Ben was still Ace!); and There's a Wocket in my Pocket, by Dr. Seuss (which was one of George's favorites as a baby, which makes it a little extra sweet for me... actually, most of these were George's favorites!). We also usually read Curious George 1 to 10 and Back Again, and he has a few more "touch-and-feel" books that he really enjoys (especially one from his Aunt Becky and another one from his Grandma Jane).

His next word was "Lindsey"--ok, a version thereof, sounding more like "Li". First, let me reiterate how much this boy loves his big sissy. He truly adores her. So, anyway, last month we got him to repeat "Li" a few times. But on Halloween night when we were out trick-or-treating, he started saying, very boldly and loudly, "Li-li-li-li-li!" in a clear attempt to get Lindsey's attention. He did this repeatedly, while we were out and also when we were back home (where it evolved into "Li-li"). He was manifestly extremely pleased with himself when it worked, by the way... which it did, every time, because Lindsey is equally enamored of him, and was mighty pleased herself.

And now, just today, he has come up with his version of George. George came in the room this morning and Ben greeted him with a very excited "Guh!" It was interesting, because it was a hard g, which I don't necessarily think of as being so tied to the soft g sound, but it was unmistakable that Ben was using it to designate George. We repeated "George" to him a bunch of times (and he did that thing where he studies your mouth with that look of concentration and then imitates the movement), and he did soften the g a bit, to a more gurgly kind of sound--alternating the hard g and the gurgly g. We also, in addition to having him repeat the sound when we said it, would point to George and ask Ben, "Who's that?" He said "Guh!" every time. George couldn't have been more delighted!

Another really fun thing about the last month or so has been introducing solid foods (his first one was a lemon wedge, and yes, we captured the hilarity on video), but I think I'll save that for another post.

It's also been great fun seeing his physical advances over the last month, with lots of ever-improving sitting up; standing up while being supported from behind (I mean while he leans ever-so-slightly against someone's legs--Lindsey first figured out that he could do this) or while holding on to something in front of him; and getting around on his back like a little inchworm-doing-the-backstroke. His latest thing is he'll inch across the king-sized bed if Bob isn't in it, in what seems a pretty clear attempt to go off and join his dad wherever he is!

But my favorite thing of all about this baby remains how happy he is. Even when he had a bad bout of teething, where he was crying in pain, we'd look at him and tell him we love him and he'd try to smile back at us through his tears. The sweetest thing!

And while we're on the subject, a little more about his smile.... It's a smile so radiant it could light up a medium-sized city during a power outage. Well, it sure lights us up, anyway. I may have mentioned this already, but we call them "smiles from heaven", because they really do seem almost other-worldly. George, when he was watching him on the couch the other day, put it this way: you could be crying, having the worst day of your life, and if you took one look at Baby Ben and his beaming, happy face, you couldn't help but feel happy yourself! George also added that Ben is just without a care in the world. It's true. He is so full of unfettered joy and innocence and exuberance, and it really is contagious when you're around him.

What a little (huge) blessing he is. And as you can no doubt tell, we're really savoring it.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Story Club: A Young Writers' Group

Inspired by a homeschooling (cyber) friend, and by my desire to support George in his creative writing this year, I decided to start a young writers' group. We had our first meeting Thursday, and so far so good!

The idea is this: once a month the kids will pick a genre out of a hat, and will have all month to write a story in that genre. At the meeting, they'll be encouraged to read the story they've written (plus anything else they've written that month and want to share). Hopefully these readings will generate some discussion and further thought. We'll also play some writing games, especially the one where each person writes down two sentences of a new story, and then passes the paper to the person on their left, who adds two sentences of their own, etc. etc., until everyone ends up with the story they began, which they then finish off, and then read to the group. (Does that game have a name?!)

For the first meeting, I decided we should have a discussion about genres--I wanted the kids to list as many genres as they could think of, and then go down the list together and discuss what each one was (and maybe give some examples), and then decide which 8 suggested ones should make it onto our final list. I wanted the number to be 8, because there will be 8 subsequent meetings, and I want each kid to have a chance to write a story in each genre over the course of the year.

George and I had talked a lot about this in advance, and had come up with several genres ahead of time, in case the discussion stalled out. We needn't have worried. Our little group (5 kids including George, though at least 4 more are planning on coming next time) had plenty of ideas! Most of the time I just acted as scribe and tried to stay out of their way, as they really were off and running.

The 8 genres they settled on are: action/adventure, comedy, tall tales/mythology, plays/graphic novels/poetry, memoir/autobiography, historical fiction, science fiction/fantasy, and horror/mystery. You'll notice there are a lot of compound categories; this is partly because it was hard to narrow it down to 8 and partly because the kids wanted to offer flexibility in some of the categories (for example, several of them were very enthusiastic about including poetry, but one or two of the kids weren't so thrilled about that. Ditto for plays. So they decided those genres should be combined with graphic novels, so no one would have to feel forced to write a poem or a play).

After we had our list, we turned our attention to the game. I've played this game with my intermediate and advanced language students at the university (in Italian, of course), and it's always great fun and often quite hilarious. What I didn't really anticipate was that some of the kids would feel kind of uncomfortable with the direction in which the other kids took their stories! I guess they were feeling quite invested in the stories that they had begun ("I can't *believe* Indiana Jones ended up getting eaten by a shark!"--uttered with great dismay). So if I had it to do over again, I would explain that aspect a little better before starting, and prepare them for the fact that they would have no control over where the story went once they passed it on (but that if they had in mind a particular progression for the story, they could always write that story themselves later). In any case, I explained that at the end, and they were all pretty much ok with it at that point. They seemed to be able to let go and embrace the creativity and whimsy and humor of it. There was definitely much laughter when the end products were read aloud.

Then it was time to pick their genres for the month. We also decided that each month we'd highlight one genre, and the kids would each find a book to read in the highlighted genre to come back and report on/discuss with each other next time. Probably, if we do the story-writing activity again, they'll try to make their composite stories be in that month's highlighted genre.

Overall, it went even better than I had hoped. The kids seemed to have a great time, and seem excited about it. And I'm excited about it, too. It was deeply rewarding watching these kids interact with one another and work together. It was also, quite frankly, highly entertaining, as there are some very sharp wits in the group.

Sitting at the table with the kids, and thinking about it afterwards, I have found myself feeling the way I've been feeling a lot so far this year: kind of surprised and very happy that we really have managed to find or create so much of what I once feared that George would miss out on by being homeschooled. He has plenty of friends. And he is in plenty of group situations with other kids where he gets to work in all different kinds of ways: small- and large-group projects; independent projects that are later shared; more academic enterprises like Story Club, and more recreational ones; groups with very rigid rules and structure (such as Tae Kwon Do), and groups with no stated rules at all (weekly playgroup).... I really don't see that he's missing out on any of the good things. I'm so glad that we've found our way here, and that we can make it work.

A few pics:




Friday, September 24, 2010

Gigging: Thater Races and Communiversity Fest

I wanted to write about the gig we just did, a big block party downtown jointly sponsored by the community and the university (hence "Communiversity Fest"), but first I'm going to paste in a post I wrote almost a month ago and forgot to put up, about the Thater races, a big gig in the park that we also did last year and were very happy about doing again this year....

AUGUST 28: This was a great gig! Better turnout than last year; in fact, better turnout than we saw for any other band down there (ok, we only saw a few other bands—but still!). It was a very high-energy gig—lots of energy from the crowd, and plenty on stage as well. There was a problem with the guitar amp they provided, so Bob loaned the band before us his amp. This somehow got the set-up all a little off, so we were a little behind schedule when we were setting up, which was a tiny bit stressful. (With these types of gigs, when a whole bunch of bands are playing short sets one right after the other, a quick tear-down and set-up is key, and is insisted upon.) I’m glad it didn’t happen last year because it might have thrown me. But I was able to just let it go when it was time to play.

We opened with All Right Now, which started us off on a high note, and it just got better from there. Right off the bat there was a “tween” girl with a Nintendo DS up front taking pictures of us. Maybe she had just gotten the DS and was experimenting with taking pictures of anything, but still, I felt flattered! The crowd seemed to love Hidin’ Out with the Blues (one of our newest originals), which we played next, and Josie (after that) always goes over big. Next was Ramblin’ Man, and when the opening riff started, you could feel the mood lift in the crowd. They were totally into it, and boy was that fun! Why (one of my songs, that I've blogged about in the past) also went over huge. It was my favorite time playing it, ever. There were these young teen-aged girls off to my left who I noticed were completely digging the song, and digging me, so I gave them a little encouragement by singing some of the lines to them. Well, that’s all it took, and they were off and running. Singing along with each chorus, copping the appropriate attitude… (“when I’m the best that you ever had…”) I can’t tell you how much fun it was, getting that kind of reaction on a song I’d written. After that we hit ‘em with Black Magic Woman, and the crowd's energy seemed to increase again! What a rush. The group of girls started line dancing, and all across the park we could see people really loving it. At the end of that, I said, “All right! Let’s Rock and Roll!” And Donnie, the stage manager, who had come up to the top of the steps, said “Let’s Rock and Roll? How ‘bout let’s go home!!” and then he laughed and said “Ok, one more…” At that point we had planned to play Can’t You See, but I was thinking it was too long (plus I would’ve had to strap on my guitar)... and also I really wanted to keep the energy up. So I called out Mojo, and we ended with that. Of course it went over like hot cakes!

It was one of my favorite gigs. I was so excited and happy and having a ball the whole time. I was nervous beforehand, for much of the day, really. But once I got on stage I was in the comfort zone. It was a blast.

And I’m really glad that of our 3 big outdoor gigs that we have lined up for late summer, this one was first. I’m feeling ready to rock downtown!

Some pictures:


You can see the girl with the Nintendo DS in the foreground:
Love my blue congas!
Here are the line-dancing, chorus-singing, girl-power girls (Donnie dubbed them the "Sparkle Sisters"):
And here's our littlest fan, the precious Baby Ben:

And here are a few pictures from Blues on the Bridge, which I didn't write a separate blog post about. Here's Lindsey with Baby Ben--she watched him for the whole time (Laurie was out of town), and did a truly awesome job!:

I loved this stage. I especially loved that it was right over the foot bridge where Bob and I had a whole slew of wedding pictures taken, as it's not too far from the church where we married. But also it's just one of my favorite spots in Binghamton, right by the confluence of the Susquehanna and Chenango rivers.

The booths set up on the bridge over the Chenango, directly in front of the stage:

Linds and Baby Ben, after the gig. It might look like Ben's in the same onesie as he had on at the Thater, but that one has a big peace sign on it and this one says "Johnny Cash Folsom Prison" on it. Classic!
Ok, now onto talking about Communiversity Fest:

SEPTEMBER 24: This was the third in our series of 3 big outdoor gigs. Another short gig, which is perfect (so that I can stay for the whole thing but still not be gone from the baby for too long). The Thater Races and Blues on the Bridge were the first two. I loved how the Thater gig went, but I honestly felt just a little deflated after Blues on the Bridge—it went by so fast! I felt like I barely got going and then it was over. This was partly due to the way we had constructed the set list: for one thing, I didn’t sing until 4 songs in, and I didn’t realize how that would affect my feeling connected to the crowd and vice versa. Plus, we were also really bummed to discover that they put the wrong web address for us in the program—a MySpace page for another Voodoo Highway! Anyway, this gig wasn’t going to be much longer, but I liked the pacing of the set list that we’d come up with a lot better, and I was really looking forward to rocking downtown. And I was going to make sure I announced our website, so people could find us if they liked us and wanted to hear us again.

There was some pre-show drama. We all met at the Geers’ (our neighbors' house, where we practice), and were on our way downtown in two cars when Mike, our drummer, realized he’d left his drumsticks back in his car. So we dropped everyone off downtown to get started with the set up (the equipment was all in the Geers’ car), and Mike and I headed back to the Geers’ to get his sticks. When we were on our way back downtown, Bob called to say that although we’d been told there would be a drum kit provided, in fact, there was none, and we’d have to get Mike’s drums. WHAT?! So Mike and I turned around and headed back to the Geers’, and madly started dismantling his kit which was set up in their basement. It’s quite the production. But just when we had it just about all dismantled (but not all packed up), Bob called back and said the drummer in the band that had just finished said we could use his. Ok! So, back downtown….

It took us and the sound people a while to get us all set up. They had some a capella groups on in between bands, and they were quite good, but people weren’t really sticking around. When we had first arrived at this thing, at slightly before 8, there were a lot of people there, but by the time we were ready to go on, hardly anyone was left! All the vendors had packed up and gone home, and most of the crowd had as well.

Anyway, we were finishing up the sound check at about 8:35, so running late by about 5 minutes or so, and then Bob broke a string! So then we had to wait while he changed it, which took almost another 10 minutes.

I took the opportunity to talk up the band to the few people who were sticking around. Telling them our name, website, upcoming gigs… I was actually kind of having fun with it. I felt loose and “on”. And it was good practice for me. I still sometimes am so focused on the music that I forget to talk to the crowd. With no music to focus on just yet, it was easy to remember to talk!

Finally, at 8:45—15 minutes late—we were ready to go on. We busted out with Black Magic Woman. I was a little nervous that there weren’t any on-stage monitors; I was wondering how the heck we were going to be able to hear ourselves. But on both of the speaker stacks that were off to each side they had one speaker that was turned back around toward us and I could actually hear us just fine (though Mike, who was sitting 3 feet or so behind me, said he couldn’t hear at all). I did hear a bit of an echo sometimes, which can be really disconcerting, but it wasn’t too often. All in all, I could hear us just fine.

The crowd, such as it was, seemed to be loving it. And honestly, I will take a small crowd who’s totally into it over a larger crowd that just sits there any day! They were dancing and singing along and playing air guitar, etc., and were clearly enjoying it. It was a great vibe. I was having a blast.

Next came Gimme 3 Steps, which I sing, and I felt really good about it. I felt like we were hitting it just right and again, it was going over very well. I think Bob was a little thrown from the broken string thing, and he skipped ahead a bit in the middle part of the 3-part solo, but I don’t think anyone really noticed. We all just followed him ahead.

Next up was Ramblin’ Man, which I felt like we also nailed, and the crowd also seemed to love. Several groups of people walked by during the song, and everyone was looking like they were really into it.

I was excited to sing Why next, and was trying to decide if I was going to announce ahead of time that it’s one of our songs or wait until it was over to say that… however, when we ended Ramblin’ Man one of the organizers headed over to the stage and told us that was it! Time was up—the sound people were only on until 9, and it was 9.

So, all that work to play 3 songs in front of probably 30 people! But you know what? I loved it. Standing there on Court Street, under the street lights and the traffic signal that kept changing from green-to-yellow-to-red and back again, playing songs I love for people who were digging it… I was really happy.

I do still feel like any experience is good experience at this point. And who knows? Maybe we made a few new fans who will come out and hear us again next time.








Sorry the formatting is a bit messed up on this post. I really should learn HTML. I'll put that on my to-do list. Ha.

Proud Mama

My boys are having a great day today!

First, George got elected president of his Campfire Kids troop (a co-ed, hippy version of scouts. I should add that I don't really know if the national organization of Campfire is so much more hippy than scouts, but our local homeschool troop definitely is!). Here was the speech he gave:

Please don't feel like you have to vote for me because you're my friend. If you do vote for me, I want it to be because you think I'd do the best job. I have a lot of experience with public speaking, so I think I'd do a pretty good job as president.

Now, if you've been reading this blog from the beginning, you may recall that George ran for president of his homeschool government class a couple of years ago, and lost. So I was really proud of him for having the courage to run.

And I'm really happy for him that he's finding ample opportunities to explore his interests and talents. It was one of the things I was worried about when we made the decision to homeschool full-time, that he wouldn't have the chance to experience certain things that I knew he would really enjoy and that usually happen in a school setting, like running in an election. And here he is, only a couple of years later, having gotten to experience both losing and winning. I'm also proud of how humble he is about all of this:-) He took it totally in stride, and also felt bad for his friend who ran against him--who, by the way, did get elected VP.

As for my other boy, he sat up today for the first time! He's been working up to it, almost sitting up, for a long, long time. But today was the first day where he stayed up long enough that we felt it could really "count". Correcting himself when he was about to fall over and such. Both Bob and I were sitting right here with him when he did it. Proud, happy moment!

Let's hope the evening goes just as well as the afternoon did, as Bob and I have a gig with the band downtown in a few hours. It's a quick (half-hour) gig at a downtown block party jointly held by the University and the city, called Communiversity Fest. Ok, gotta go get ready to rock!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Back to School (ish)

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written! (Actually, I started many posts over the summer which I would then abandon when the baby needed me, and then I'd forget to get back to them. I did recently get around to posting one I had started on Father's Day about Ben and Bob. Maybe I'll be filling in some more as time goes by.) In any case, as you can imagine, I've been a little busy all summer, with the sweetest little baby around, but also with work, and with the older kids. George was home a lot (didn't go to as many camps as he has in past years), and Brad and Lindsey, my stepkids, were with us all summer. It was crazy and hectic in some respects, but it was also great to have that bonding time as a family.

Anyway, Brad and Lindsey are back at school and living with their mom most of the time, and our homeschooling is pretty much back in full swing. I'm on maternity leave this semester (hooray for my dean), but will continue to work on several things including the journal I edit.

I thought long and hard about what I wanted to accomplish with George this year, and talked to him about it extensively. There are those who think I should make George do at least some academic things that he doesn't particularly enjoy (just every so often, because that's life), but I'm perfectly satisfied merely to make him endure chores that he doesn't enjoy and leave it at that. I really don't see any reason to make school unpleasant for him. First of all, that's a big reason why we homeschool! So that I can tailor the work to his learning styles/abilities, so that he gets the most out of it. Second of all, if it's unpleasant for him, believe me, it's unpleasant for me. And who needs that?! So, anyway, I have had many discussions with George about what his expectations and desires and goals are, and together we came up with the following plans:

MATH: Math was so traumatic last year! I even considered skipping it altogether this year, to make up for the anguish I made him endure last year because I didn't want to let him quit a program I had spent a small fortune on, even when it became utterly clear it was a terrible fit for him. But rather than abandoning math altogether, I really wanted to find at least a few things he could do that he would actually enjoy, to try to see if he could maybe even have a little fun with math. What we came up with was the first two books in the Life of Fred series, which are roughly equivalent to 5th-grade math, I think. Also, he'll continue to play math-based computer games like Timez Attack (which has painlessly taught him his times tables). We may also work through the Descartes' Cove math CD series, though when we tried it last year it was still a little too hard for him. Will all of this be enough? I don't know. Enough for what, anyway? The Life of Fred author claims that there is enough math in the series, if you follow it to the end, to get you through college-level math classes. I think that's going to be good enough for me, at least for 5th grade. Seriously, if he falls behind he can always catch up later, and it's more important to me right now that he find a way not to hate math, and maybe even to love it.

SCIENCE: We bought the complete middle school/high school PLATO online curriculum (through the Homeschool Buyers Co-op), but with the idea that all George really needed to do to make it worth our while was the award-winning middle school science series (which CTY uses for their middle school science courses, at greatly increased cost--admittedly, with increased support as well). There are three separate courses: Life Science, Earth and Space Science, and Physical Science. He's well into the Earth and Space one (started it over the summer) and is loving it so far.

ENGLISH: Reading takes care of itself with George, and so do spelling and vocabulary-building and such. As for writing, I kind of wanted him to take another CTY reading/writing course--he's done two and they were fantastic--but he decided he's more interested in a course offered by Northwestern's CTD called Family Vignettes. Here's the course description:
It has been said that family stories are heirlooms held in the heart, not the hand. Every family has favorite memories, often with multiple versions, dependent on the person who is telling the tale. Learn to create short, written, impressionistic scenes that focus on a single moment or event in a family’s memory and discover a particular insight into a character, idea or setting. To tell these stories well, students must pay attention to details, refine their writing skills and in turn, become more thoughtful readers and writers in other contexts. The final products of this class are treasured.
He's going to wait until the winter session to do that class, though. For now he'll focus on various creative writing projects and also on learning to type, which he's finally excited about doing. For that we're using Type to Learn, which we also bought through the Homeschool Buyers Co-op at a significant discount. Honestly, if the main thing he accomplishes this year in writing is to learn how to type well, I'll be happy. It will be such an important skill for him--for everyone, really, but especially for someone who really loves to write. As for handwriting, I do think he could stand some work in that area as well, but I'm going to wait on that for now. I think one boring-but-essential mechanical skill at a time is enough.

SOCIAL STUDIES: I had thought he might like to do the American History course on PLATO, but he did a few units over the summer and quickly tired of it. I'm not going to sweat it. Learned that lesson with math last year. Besides, there are sooooo many ways to learn history. We're going to watch the History Channel video series "America: The Story of US", which we actually started watching last year but didn't make it all the way through. They're decent videos, and I'm grateful to the History Channel for sending them to educators for free. But they aren't terribly nuanced or critical, so to balance them out he'll read Howard Zinn's "A Young People's History of the United States." I think those two things would give him a really decent overview of American history, but on top of that we're going to build a curriculum around the Williamsburg virtual field trip series (again, something we bought through the Homeschool Buyers Co-op--at 90% off! Maybe it sounds like I'm doing a commercial for this Co-op. I'm not. It's free to join anyway. I'm just so happy that I found it, because it's saved me a ton of money and has also brought a lot of great materials to my attention). It's a program of seven live broadcasts on a variety of topics, and it looks like it could be great fun. I haven't fully explored all of the study materials that come along with it, but from what I have seen it looks like it would be pretty easy to spend a lot of time (if that's what we want) preparing for them and then wrapping them up. I'm looking forward to watching them myself. The first one (Oct. 14) is called "The Will of the People", and here's its description: "One of the most bitter presidential campaigns in U. S. history is part of a surprising lesson for a 21st-century student. Thomas Jefferson explains how negative campaigning, partisan politics, and contested elections have been part of our political system since the earliest days of the republic."

MUSIC & THE ARTS: Recorder lessons, with a fantastic teacher who is a great musician and teacher and also totally "gets" George. I've probably written about her before. She's really top-notch, teaching him the basics like reading music but also having him write his own pieces, and improvise as part of his daily practice, and play songs different ways expressing different things, etc. And church choir, with arguably the best choirmaster in town. (People who aren't even Episcopalian have been known to join the choir at our church to be able to work with him.) I was in a church choir briefly when I was a kid and I remember getting together every so often and learning some nice hymns and putting together a special program at Christmas and such, but this is something else. He really gives the kids a thorough musical education. I'm so glad George has taken to it. In addition to those things, we'll take him to concerts, plays, operas, art exhibits, etc., and of course expose him to plenty of rock and blues via Voodoo Highway :-)

PHYS ED: Tae Kwon Do... as close to 3 days a week as we can swing. Also, running around and playing outside both at the weekly homeschool playgroup and with the neighborhood kids after school, as long as the weather permits. I'm trying to talk George's dad into taking him to the park once a week for a bike ride. And I'm going to try to get George to come with me sometimes when I walk with Ben. Honestly, this will probably be the most challenging area to keep up with (I mean, once the pool is closed). I'm considering buying a trampoline... if I can find a cheap one that seems reasonably safe.

In addition to the subjects mentioned so far, he'll be participating in plenty of other group and individual activities, like "Cooking and Pop Culture" with my BFF Laurie, and Chess Club, and Campfire Kids (kind of like a more hippie version of Boy Scouts), and Shakespeare in the spring, and probably Odyssey of the Mind, etc. etc. Also, he'll have various daily/weekly chores. So, he'll be keeping busy!

I'm hoping to strike a good balance this year, giving him just enough structure so that he can really thrive, but also giving him freedom to run with his interests. I'm not so concerned that he cover everything that a 5th grader would cover in public school. My approach is more that I want him to be able to explore what he's passionate about, while continuing to develop his talents and skills that will serve him in whatever his future endeavors will be (most likely including--but not limited to--college). And I want him to have a great time doing it. And I want to be able to facilitate it all while still being able to devote ample time and energy to my job. And my new baby. And stepkids. And marriage. And the band. And.... Well, you get the idea. Wish me luck.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Letter to Baby Ben, on his 3-month birthday

Dear Ben,

You are an amazing baby! (Sure, all mothers think that about their babies, and I'd have a hard time arguing that they're wrong. But whatever--this isn't their blog post; it's yours, so getting back to *you*....) I wanted to write some of my favorite things about this time with you because it's going by so fast, and I don't want to forget.

Probably my favorite thing is when you look up at me when I'm feeding and/or holding you.... You have this look in your eyes, like you're just taking it all in. So open and innocent, but in a way that almost seems wise. Like you have this wisdom that you brought with you from wherever you came from, like you're a foreigner in a new country, processing and making sense of all that you see. And then you'll suddenly break into a smile--a smile that could light up a whole city. In the wintertime. Your daddy and I call them smiles from heaven, because it actually kind of feels like heaven itself is smiling on us. It really does! You are so sweet, and beautiful--you pretty much just feel like pure love.

As you can tell, you have doting parents. We've been through this before, but circumstances are such that we are both in a position to enjoy it much more this time around. It's funny to think back about how disruptive a baby once seemed. It seems as natural as can be this time. And you know, we've always been very happy with each other, but since you've come along it's off the charts. You bring so much love and joy to us all, each and every day.


Another thing I love about you-right-now is how you laugh when we change your clothes. You think it's hilarious when we pull a onesie up over your head! And I love how you look at art, like you're really evaluating and appreciating it.... And even though I joke about the country music thing, I do get a kick out of your defined musical taste. And a little more about your smile: when I smile at you, I love how you smile back at me with this twinkle in your eye, almost as if we're sharing a private joke, the best private joke ever.

And I'm sorry if it sounds like bragging (hey, that's my right as your mom)--but you are one beautiful baby boy. Seriously. Even strangers stop us to tell us so, and they also remark on how happy and smiley you are. An old lady stopped me in the supermarket the other day to say what a cute, happy baby you are. Of course I had to agree.

I love your perfect little eyebrows... Laurie calls them "painted-on" eyebrows. And I love how you arch/raise them sometimes when you are interacting with people. It's quite the sophisticated little look.

I love how you are getting really into your books, especially Pat the Bunny. It's sooooo sweet.

And I love how your siblings are responding to you. It's hard to express how much sweetness fills my heart when I see them interacting with you. Of course, I also love watching you and your dad together.

Well, I'd better go catch some zzzz ("Sleep when the baby sleeps", and all that). Your Uncle Metro and Barbara are here to visit you, and we're all going to Woodstock (the concert venue) tomorrow. Your daddy and I are excited to take you there--we went there last year on our anniversary, right around the time you first came into existence.

Anyway, thanks for being you, and for bringing me such boundless joy:-)

Love,

Mom

PS--a few photos of you over the last month:




With Lindsey at the tennis court

With big brother Brad


George reading to you on his bed


With Lindsey on the courts again, while we play


With Laurie, at the big party we had today to welcome Uncle Metro and Barbara to Binghamton


Saturday, July 24, 2010

Summer Camp Time!

Summer's in full swing, and that means camp for George, though he has scaled back a bit from past years. He used to go to camp pretty much all summer, but his tastes have become more specific and he's narrowed it down to just a few that he really loves this year--all at our Discovery Center. Last week it was "Myths and Legends" week, and the camp for his age group was Mythical Creatures. They learned about vampires, dragons, werewolves, etc. It was extremely well done, with crafts that even the usually craft-averse George loved, and really cool themed snacks that they helped make of course, like dragon cookies and werewolf cupcakes.

The counselor was awesome, and really enjoyed George. A counselor who was not so on top of her game might not have, since George was already something of an expert on mythical creatures, and also has never been the type to keep silent in a classroom setting if he disagrees or has a particular opinion! For example, one day I stayed for the beginning of camp, and the counselor was talking about mermaids. She said that there had been sightings of mermaids reported throughout history, including by Christopher Columbus. George raised his hand and when called on, he announced "But you can't trust anything that Christopher Columbus said, because he was a liar!" Then another kid jumped in and said "Yeah, and he didn't really discover America! There were already people here!" Without missing a beat, the counselor said, "Well, Christopher Columbus isn't here to defend himself, so let's leave him alone for now..." and took the conversation right back to mermaids, which seemed fine with everyone--they had gotten to speak their peace!

On the last day they wore costumes and got their faces painted. George chose to dress as a vampire, and he had a truly inspired idea for his face-painting:
















Here's a closer look:
















Creepy, huh?

And here he is with his counselor:
















The kids paraded around a bit with a Chinese dragon, had refreshments, and received award certificates. George's was for "Most Informed", which didn't surprise me one bit!































Next up: Galumpha camp!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Back out there with the Band

It was great to be back out gigging again, especially for such a fun and appreciative audience as the firemen turned out to be! And Baby Ben survived it just fine (and my pal who watched him survived his fussy time--whew).

The funniest thing that happened at this gig was when a guy came up to me during the break and asked me if I'd slap him. What?? For real? Yes. He didn't seem like a total creep or anything--in fact, he seemed like a very nice young fireman--so I said ok, and gave him a good ole slap across the face. It was kinda fun actually. (Is that wrong?!) He thanked me and walked away.

Very soon after that a slightly older fireman came up and said to me, "What did my son say to you??!" I just laughed and said something like, "Well, I don't really want to repeat it, but let's just say we're even now." He apologized profusely for his son's rudeness, and then walked away. A little while later I was at the bar getting a refill on my water (I get very thirsty when I sing!), and the young guy, the son, came up to me and thanked me again, both for slapping him and for not giving him away when his dad asked me about it. It turns out that he had made a bet with his friends. He told them that he wanted to come up and talk to me, and they said they didn't think he had the guts (I *told* you it was an appreciative audience!). He then upped the ante and told them what he planned on saying to me, which he didn't repeat to me, but was obviously something quite bold. They said he wouldn't dare say that! And he said oh-yes-he-would, and walked up to me... and you know the rest. Anyway, I guess this mama's still got it ;-)




Saturday, July 17, 2010

Baby Ben: Lover of the Arts

This baby is tuned into the arts, has preferences, and lets us know about them.

First of all, he hates a blank wall. From very, very soon after we brought him home from the hospital he has fixated on paintings or wall-hangings of various types. We have a painting above our bed that he loves to stare at, and will crane his neck to try to see until we turn him around and let him look right at it. He'll stare at it for very lengthy periods of time. I get an extra kick out of this because of the sentimental value of the painting; it's something my sister did many years ago, when I was still a kid, of the bedpost of my grandmother's bed:


He also loves the photograph of the mosaic on the floor in the San Marco cathedral in Venice that we have hanging over his changing table:

As soon as we set him down, he starts moving his head around so that he can see it better. And he doesn't just stare at these works of art--he actually "talks" to them and smiles at them and even laughs!


And whenever we take him into a new room or place, he immediately scans the walls for artwork. Friends' houses, the dentist's office, you name it--he wants to see the art. And if he doesn't find any to look at, he fusses a little bit, and gives us this look like, WTF? Where's the art, man?

Second, he has a definite musical taste. Of course I'm thrilled that he's so tuned into music. However, I'm not so sure about his genre of choice: country. It all started when he was in the womb. As I'm pretty sure I've mentioned, he'd go *nuts* in there every time I'd play Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues with the band. (If you don't know it, it has a very driving rhythm, at least the way we play it. And it's one of the songs I play on guitar.) I couldn't really tell if he loved it or hated it, but it never failed to get a big reaction out of him, and I'd often have to try pretty hard not to crack up on stage. Band on the Run never got that kind of reaction out of him, or any of the other songs I play guitar on! You might think that perhaps he was gravitating toward what we had familiarized him with, but that's really not the case. That is the *only* country song we play, and we never played it all that often (I mean, we played it for every gig we had, but we played lots and lots of songs at our gigs. And it's not like we were working on this one and practicing it all the time, because it's a song we already had down long before he came along). So it was, and remains, a mystery why he responded so strongly to that song, every single time.



And he still loves it. The other night Bob and I were up in the man cave going over our set list for this gig; Ben slept through most of it. But at a certain point he woke up and was very fussy, so I held and fed him while singing/practicing the conga beats on my knees. Quite the multi-tasker, I know. Anyway, the one thing I couldn't do while holding him was play guitar, and we did have one song left that we hadn't gone over yet, which was--you guessed it--Folsom Prison. So I set him down his his bouncy seat and he immediately started to fuss, very actively. Not all-out-bawling, but on the verge. Well, as soon as we started strumming the first bar he stopped all fussing and was completely riveted. Spellbound, even. Staring at me and my guitar with this look of total wonder and awe. I was wishing I had a camera handy! It was amazing.

We have also discovered that he loves the soundtrack to Crazy Heart (a movie Bob and I loved and saw like 3 times... it's the only country record we own, and we bought it because we so admired the songwriting in the movie). If he gets fussy in the car, we put it on, and it placates him. We have to play it at a pretty high volume, though. And if we get sick of it and turn the volume down or, heaven forbid, put something else on, he'll let us know he's *not* ok with that. Even it seems like he's asleep. He'll wake right up and make it clear that we'd better crank that sucker back up again!


Bob has taken to calling him our little shit-kicker :-) And we're taking this as proof that God has a sense of humor, that rocker parents would end up with a baby who only has ears for country....

The Baby and the Band

We have a bunch of gigs lined up for the second half of the summer, starting with one today, so I've been back in full swing with band practice. It has not been entirely smooth! But we're working it out, and it feels great to be back.

Our first gig is perfect to start out with, because it is short--two one-hour sets, with a short break in between. We've worked it out so that I won't be needed for the second half of the second set, so I can leave early. I'll be leaving Ben at home with my best pal (who is also one of his godmothers) and plenty of pumped milk and instructions re. what to do if he gets fussy (dip in the hot tub followed by time in his swing). I'm actually feeling ok about leaving him for this short amount of time, with someone I completely trust, and am hopeful about how it will go.

I've participated in two full practices so far, to get ready for this gig. For the first one, we had George watch Ben (just right upstairs from us!), which did not go so very well, I'm afraid. The problem is that practice happens to be right at Ben's fussy time. Ben was fine when I left him to go downstairs, but before long he was screaming his head off. George was so frustrated and felt so bad that he was powerless to help his little brother that he soon joined Ben in the tear-shedding department. Fortunately, our sound guy (Les, who is also one of Ben's godfathers) came to the rescue, putting Ben in the "football hold" while walking him around, and getting him to sleep right away. At that point their daughter who was home from college stepped in and held Ben for the rest of practice.

So this week we thought we'd try having my stepdaughter Lindsey watch Ben during practice, because she is really incredible with him. In fact, sometimes she can calm him down even when Bob and I can't! We call her the junior mommy, which she loves. She's only 9, and I wouldn't even think of leaving her truly alone with him, but I figured she could handle being upstairs from us. Practice lasts only about an hour and a half, and she watches him all the time at home--including during his fussy time. But in fact it was a bit rough on her! I came up in between songs at a certain point and her eyes were welling up with tears as she told me that it was too hard! He wasn't actually crying with Lindsey--he's sooo comfortable with her--but he was wiggling all over the place and she just didn't know what to do to settle him. I put him in the stroller and walked him around the living room and dining room until they really needed me downstairs again, at which point Les once again came to the rescue, getting Ben calm enough to where he fell out hard next to Lindsey on the couch. Probably what we need to do is just bring the swing to band practice with us, because that works pretty much every time. I'm also contemplating getting some noise-canceling headphones for him, so he could even be downstairs with us while we play.

Anyway... playing our old songs again (covers, as opposed to our own music which we've been playing exclusively since mid-February) has been a lot of fun. I have absolutely been loving the recording process, but getting back to our standard set list has also felt great--like putting on a pair of really comfy-but-cute shoes and stepping out to dance the night away!

The gig is a party put on by the firemen in a nearby town. Since it's relatively short, we'll be playing only songs that are our very favorites, including the debut of two songs that we've recorded but have never before performed in public.

Wish me luck!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Shakespeare in the Woods

The homeschool Shakespeare group wrapped up its second year this weekend with three performances of Twelfth Night. The Friday night performance was in a theater on campus, and the Saturday and Sunday matinees were at a thing called Faerie Fest (think Renaissance Fair with lots of wings and a bigger dose of fantasy).

As was the case last year, the Shakespeare class/group has been a wonderful experience, for both George and me. It's homeschooling at its best, in a way. It felt like being part of a really wonderful school--well, actually, better than that. People worry that homeschoolers don't get enough opportunity for socialization, but the kind of community and socialization that developed over the course of the last several months with the Shakespeare group was probably better than anything I've ever been part of in a school setting, as either a student or a parent.

Since sometime in March, 31 kids and their parents met every Monday for about 3 hours (and occasionally on Fridays as well). The leaders of the group are the minister from the local Unitarian church and his wife, and they are extraordinary. The first few sessions were dedicated to various acting games, which served not only to loosen the kids up and get them really into the spirit of acting, but also to give Douglas (the director) an idea of the kids' levels of acting ability, for the purposes of casting. The activities ranged from improv with or without props to saying various lines with different emotions. Once the play was cast, the weekly sessions obviously focused more on rehearsals, but until the last month or so there was always a little time left at the end for more acting games, which the kids just loved.

The parents at first mostly just watched (although sometimes we participated in some of the games, too), but as time went by people helped out as they were able with costumes and sets or with running lines with kids whose scenes weren't being rehearsed right then with the director. As the months went by, I found myself becoming closer with several of the parents, but also with many of the kids. I have to say, I really love these kids! And I really cherish having had the opportunity to spend time with them, and to see them grow as actors and as people. And once Ben was born, it was so wonderful to see the kids respond to him. They were fascinated by and adored him, and would always ask to hold him and would sometimes even help me change him. It was so very sweet.

One experience that had nothing to do with the production really stands out to me as typifying the beauty of the community of the group. The Unitarian church has a labyrinth in the yard, and after rehearsal one day one of the kids asked me if I'd use the timer on my cell phone to time her as she ran through it. When a couple of other kids saw what we were doing, they asked if they could do it too, and before long there was a line of at least 10 kids who wanted to run through the labyrinth and be timed. I have to admit that part of me was just a little nervous--while a few of the kids are active in competitive sports, many are not, and I just wasn't sure how they'd handle this kind of direct competition. (Maybe I've internalized some fears about homeschooled kids!) Plus, some of the kids are a lot younger, and I thought maybe they'd get their feelings hurt if they didn't do as well. I needn't have worried! The kids all stuck around after their turns not just to see if anyone would beat their time, but also to cheer each other on with great gusto. You could really feel them pulling for each other, as if they were all on a team together. Which I guess they sort of are! I found the whole thing to be both touching and great fun.

The play took a little longer to come together this year than last, probably because it was significantly longer and also a bit more complex, with more characters with speaking parts, and some longer scenes with lots of entrances and exits and such. But eventually it did come together, of course, and despite the occasional rough spot we parents were all bursting with pride on performance night.

George did an awesome job (my biased and unbiased opinion), making the most of his minor role despite his disappointment in not getting a lead this time around. At least he didn't have to play a lover again, which was what he very much wanted to avoid:-)

I hope Douglas and Sidra will be up for doing this again next year!

A whole bunch of pictures... starting with one of the cast party, held at our house. Look, actual homeschool socialization in action ;-)


George as Fabian, the gardener:

Tending the tree he's about to hide behind with Sir Andrew:















Watching as Malvolio reads the fake love letter they have planted for him...















The whole cast, at the end of the production on campus:








The next day, at the entrance to the Faerie Festival
















Fabian, pushing a very reluctant Sir Andrew to fight with an equally reluctant Cesario
Fabian, Sir Toby, and Sir Andrew discuss their shenanigans


The final scene, when all is revealed:



































In between scenes, Baby Ben is adored....







My number 1 helper, pretty-in-pink stepdaughter Lindsey











Hamming it up after the performance in the woods at the festival



































One of the more elaborate booths at the festival:







A fairy/nymph of some sort, who came out of her tree to offer a very entertaining blessing upon Baby Ben:































Another entertaining creature...




















We wrapped up day two with a trip to a nearby lake: