Sunday, May 31, 2009

Proud Mama

I actually have three things I want to write about--something from Friday, Saturday, and Sunday--but Sunday's is going to have to wait till later. By the way, looks like I am finding time to write all of a sudden. Guess what's *not* getting done... (various reports for work that are almost as overdue as they are pointless).

So, on Saturday we drove over two hours to the state capital because George was being honored in an awards ceremony for CTY (the Center for Talented Youth program, through Johns Hopkins). The awards are for the top-scorers on the CTY entrance test, which he took in January. I have mixed feelings about this award (not about CTY in general, which I actually love. And not about his having done notably well on the test! Just about the idea of an award for performance on an aptitude test). On the one hand, I'm proud, of course. And I agree that academic achievement should be recognized just as other achievements (say, in sports) are. Also, George's academic giftedness has actually caused a lot of difficulties in his life so far--let me be clear that I'm not complaining! But his educational road has been extremely bumpy in ways that it would not have been were he not so far ahead, and he is keenly aware of this. I don't think he has necessarily thought of his giftedness as a burden, because education and intellect are appreciated/valued by those who are close to him, but I know that in certain educational settings, with certain teachers, he has felt not only held back but even beaten down. So it was great for him to stand up and be recognized and honored for who he is.

What's the flip side? Everything I've read says you should praise your kids not for being intelligent, but for working hard. After all, their intelligence is not really to their credit, and they know it. Praising them for it can make them complacent, risk-averse, and highly sensitive to failure. Praising them for their hard work, instead, emphasizes something that lies within their control, which empowers and encourages them to challenge themselves further. (Here is one article discussing these theories.) This CTY ceremony basically seemed to be awarding kids for being smart, since it was based on their entrance scores on an aptitude test, and not on anything they had accomplished in the program. But, whatever. George has had a really difficult year educationally--actually a really difficult two years--make that a really difficult three $%^&ing years in a row. So it was kind of nice to have him celebrated. Besides, I guess it took at least some guts to put himself out there and take the entrance test in the first place. Right?!?

I'm proud of him for something else, in a totally unconflicted way. On Friday afternoons he's taking a mock-government class for homeschoolers (with one of his uncommonly great former teachers who now homeschools her kids, and blogs about it), and this last Friday they were holding presidential elections. George is relatively new to the homeschool community, and has been feeling that he's having a rough time breaking into the group. Anyway, he decided that he wanted to run for president, even though he told me he was sure that he was going to lose. He just wanted to go for it anyway. Honestly, I was pretty impressed with this. I don't know that I'd have the courage to run in an election that I was sure I was going to lose! But he was determined to give it a try. Friday morning he composed his campaign speech. It went something like this:


"I've been thinking about what makes a good president, and I came up with two things. You have to be good at solving problems, and you have to be a good leader. I am both of those things. Plus, I care about other people's feelings and wishes, and as president I would take each person's concerns very seriously. Also, I have a presidential name. Think about it. Well, ok, so maybe the last president named George didn't work out so well. But what about George Washington? I think we can all agree that he was a great president. And I will work hard to be a great president, too."


He did end up losing the election, but it was far from a landslide. The vote was 5-6. He was very happy with how his speech went, and was both surprised and delighted that the vote was so close. I could not have been more proud. And I guess I don't need to worry about him being risk-averse or afraid of failure!

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