Loving this unschooling thing... if that's what it is!

Honestly, even though I pretty much consider us to be unschoolers, I have to say I'm still not exactly sure what that means. When I've asked others who also consider themselves unschoolers about that, they've told me that there are pretty much as many definitions of unschooling as there are unschoolers.

In any case, I love what we're doing. I love that we're staying flexible, and going with what works. Today, for example, we had a plan. It was fairly ambitious and included the following:

*clean his room
*write a book review on his blog (he had started about three, and I wanted him to finish one of them)
*practice his recorder
*brush and floss his teeth (yes, I have to make this part of his schedule! It's nowhere near automatic)
*clean the cat box
*do a final olive oil treatment on his hair

All of that had to be done before noon, because from noon to 3:00 on Fridays he goes to the local YMCA for Spanish class, swimming, and gym class. From 3-4:30 we were going to run some errands, and then head to Tae Kwon Do class from 4:30-5:30.

He had accomplished most of what was on his list (which took a lot of effort on his part--his room was quite the disaster area, and he worked long and hard on his book review), and was sitting in the bath with the olive oil on his head. I told him it was time to comb it out--that we couldn't wait long because we'd be late for Spanish. He gently protested, "But I haven't had any time to play in the bath!" I thought about this, and about how rushed we'd be if we tried to make it to Spanish on time, and I realized that I actually would rather just let him play in the bath and take his time a bit--especially considering how hard he'd worked all morning, from the time he'd awakened. A little unstructured playtime is good for the soul, don'tcha think? So, I suggested that we skip Spanish. Which he followed up by suggesting that we skip the whole afternoon at the Y, and just go to Tae Kwon Do.

My first response was "No way." It's not just that we've paid for these sessions, or even that I like the consistency of his being with the same group of kids every week for an entire afternoon. It's really more that I don't want him to blow stuff off just because he feels like it.

But then I thought about myself--after a long, exhausting week--having to sit for three hours on uncomfortable benches and chairs (it's not a drop-off program; you have to stay there with your kid), and about how I haven't been sleeping well and wasn't really feeling all that great, and also about the mountain of work I have to do over the weekend (grading, grading, more grading, and writing of letters of recommendation, and reading a bunch of applications for an awards committee I'm on, and prepping for my next class, in between all of which I have a big gig with the band Saturday night, *and* have to go Halloween costume shopping, and really should get out our Halloween decorations already!!!, and, well, you get the idea...). And I realized I really wanted to stay home, too. Besides, he'll still be going to Tae Kwon Do this afternoon, which is super rigorous and disciplined.

So, I caved, though I made it clear that this was a one-time deal; that normally we wouldn't blow this off. (Of course, normally on a Friday morning we won't have to be working in an olive oil treatment and a combing and a bath!) He was fine with that. We finished his treatment/bath (he's definitely still lice-free), and he completed the rest of the items on his agenda and is having some playtime before Tae Kwon Do.

In the end, it will have been a productive day--just not exactly in the way that we planned. This, I guess, is at least a small part of what unschooling means to me--though I know (from reading other blogs as well as talking to other homeschooling parents) that even those who do follow a curriculum with their kids will often deviate from the plan on any given day.

So, of course, it's more than that... Even though he doesn't like everything on his daily schedule, there's very little on there (apart from the chores and the tooth-brushing) that he didn't either come up with himself or embrace very enthusiastically when I proposed it to him. For example, I actually wanted him to do another CTY writing course, because he got a lot out of the two he did last year, but he wasn't up for it. He definitely wants to do more of them at some point--he just got burned out last year, and I decided not to push it at all. So instead of a class or some other sort of curriculum, we came up with the idea for him to blog. My suggestion was a book-review blog, which he's doing, but he's also doing two other blogs that he wanted to do (one with movie reviews and one with whatever he wants to write about).

In addition, I have several workbooks/activity books for him on math, geography, history, etc. Most days he has "workbook time", but I let him choose what he which ones he wants to work on and I don't make him do any pages or activities he's not interested in (unfortunately, the math ones I got are too easy for him, so he never picks those--I guess I'll have to have him help me pick out some math books that he'll find more challenging and interesting).

He also reads like crazy and often writes comic books, but he does those things almost effortlessly, and he doesn't need them to be on any kind of daily agenda. Still, I value them (especially the reading, but also the creative activity) as vital parts of his daily learning.

Where's the discipline in all this choice? Actually, I would say that he's more self-disciplined than he's ever been. Although he needs to be gently reminded, for example, to practice his recorder, I think there is plenty of discipline required to practice an instrument to the point where you can play it well. There's a lot of repetition and, when he's learning a new piece, a fair amount of frustration that he has to face and overcome. I love seeing the commitment and drive in him to succeed at that. And of course, Tae Kwon Do is about as disciplined as it gets--not just the moves themselves, but lots of lining up or sitting down in straight rows, and being quiet and paying attention even when it's not your turn, and all that--all those skills he *hated* trying to acquire way back in 1st grade at public school but really doesn't mind working on in this context (where all that lining up and sitting down feels like it's worth it because he's actually learning something!). He also shows discipline and stick-to-it-ive-ness in his writing, which is something that of course can be difficult and frustrating and tiring, and he works hard at it.

Overall, maybe he's not pushing himself as hard as he could be right now, but I think that's ok. He's definitely making really good progress, academically and personally, and he's happy. It's a great combination. Also, I do feel that when he's ready for more of a challenge he'll seek it out, or ask me to help him seek it out. In fact, he's already excited about the thought of taking at least one or two online courses staring in January. And of course, I'll keep encouraging him every so often to think about getting back to his EPGY math.

And one of these days, when I have some spare time (ha!), I'll read up on unschooling, though I guess it doesn't really matter what I call what we're doing; it just matters that it's working so well!