Back to School (ish)

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written! (Actually, I started many posts over the summer which I would then abandon when the baby needed me, and then I'd forget to get back to them. I did recently get around to posting one I had started on Father's Day about Ben and Bob. Maybe I'll be filling in some more as time goes by.) In any case, as you can imagine, I've been a little busy all summer, with the sweetest little baby around, but also with work, and with the older kids. George was home a lot (didn't go to as many camps as he has in past years), and Brad and Lindsey, my stepkids, were with us all summer. It was crazy and hectic in some respects, but it was also great to have that bonding time as a family.

Anyway, Brad and Lindsey are back at school and living with their mom most of the time, and our homeschooling is pretty much back in full swing. I'm on maternity leave this semester (hooray for my dean), but will continue to work on several things including the journal I edit.

I thought long and hard about what I wanted to accomplish with George this year, and talked to him about it extensively. There are those who think I should make George do at least some academic things that he doesn't particularly enjoy (just every so often, because that's life), but I'm perfectly satisfied merely to make him endure chores that he doesn't enjoy and leave it at that. I really don't see any reason to make school unpleasant for him. First of all, that's a big reason why we homeschool! So that I can tailor the work to his learning styles/abilities, so that he gets the most out of it. Second of all, if it's unpleasant for him, believe me, it's unpleasant for me. And who needs that?! So, anyway, I have had many discussions with George about what his expectations and desires and goals are, and together we came up with the following plans:

MATH: Math was so traumatic last year! I even considered skipping it altogether this year, to make up for the anguish I made him endure last year because I didn't want to let him quit a program I had spent a small fortune on, even when it became utterly clear it was a terrible fit for him. But rather than abandoning math altogether, I really wanted to find at least a few things he could do that he would actually enjoy, to try to see if he could maybe even have a little fun with math. What we came up with was the first two books in the Life of Fred series, which are roughly equivalent to 5th-grade math, I think. Also, he'll continue to play math-based computer games like Timez Attack (which has painlessly taught him his times tables). We may also work through the Descartes' Cove math CD series, though when we tried it last year it was still a little too hard for him. Will all of this be enough? I don't know. Enough for what, anyway? The Life of Fred author claims that there is enough math in the series, if you follow it to the end, to get you through college-level math classes. I think that's going to be good enough for me, at least for 5th grade. Seriously, if he falls behind he can always catch up later, and it's more important to me right now that he find a way not to hate math, and maybe even to love it.

SCIENCE: We bought the complete middle school/high school PLATO online curriculum (through the Homeschool Buyers Co-op), but with the idea that all George really needed to do to make it worth our while was the award-winning middle school science series (which CTY uses for their middle school science courses, at greatly increased cost--admittedly, with increased support as well). There are three separate courses: Life Science, Earth and Space Science, and Physical Science. He's well into the Earth and Space one (started it over the summer) and is loving it so far.

ENGLISH: Reading takes care of itself with George, and so do spelling and vocabulary-building and such. As for writing, I kind of wanted him to take another CTY reading/writing course--he's done two and they were fantastic--but he decided he's more interested in a course offered by Northwestern's CTD called Family Vignettes. Here's the course description:

It has been said that family stories are heirlooms held in the heart, not the hand. Every family has favorite memories, often with multiple versions, dependent on the person who is telling the tale. Learn to create short, written, impressionistic scenes that focus on a single moment or event in a family’s memory and discover a particular insight into a character, idea or setting. To tell these stories well, students must pay attention to details, refine their writing skills and in turn, become more thoughtful readers and writers in other contexts. The final products of this class are treasured.

He's going to wait until the winter session to do that class, though. For now he'll focus on various creative writing projects and also on learning to type, which he's finally excited about doing. For that we're using Type to Learn, which we also bought through the Homeschool Buyers Co-op at a significant discount. Honestly, if the main thing he accomplishes this year in writing is to learn how to type well, I'll be happy. It will be such an important skill for him--for everyone, really, but especially for someone who really loves to write. As for handwriting, I do think he could stand some work in that area as well, but I'm going to wait on that for now. I think one boring-but-essential mechanical skill at a time is enough.

SOCIAL STUDIES: I had thought he might like to do the American History course on PLATO, but he did a few units over the summer and quickly tired of it. I'm not going to sweat it. Learned that lesson with math last year. Besides, there are sooooo many ways to learn history. We're going to watch the History Channel video series "America: The Story of US", which we actually started watching last year but didn't make it all the way through. They're decent videos, and I'm grateful to the History Channel for sending them to educators for free. But they aren't terribly nuanced or critical, so to balance them out he'll read Howard Zinn's "A Young People's History of the United States." I think those two things would give him a really decent overview of American history, but on top of that we're going to build a curriculum around the Williamsburg virtual field trip series (again, something we bought through the Homeschool Buyers Co-op--at 90% off! Maybe it sounds like I'm doing a commercial for this Co-op. I'm not. It's free to join anyway. I'm just so happy that I found it, because it's saved me a ton of money and has also brought a lot of great materials to my attention). It's a program of seven live broadcasts on a variety of topics, and it looks like it could be great fun. I haven't fully explored all of the study materials that come along with it, but from what I have seen it looks like it would be pretty easy to spend a lot of time (if that's what we want) preparing for them and then wrapping them up. I'm looking forward to watching them myself. The first one (Oct. 14) is called "The Will of the People", and here's its description: "One of the most bitter presidential campaigns in U. S. history is part of a surprising lesson for a 21st-century student. Thomas Jefferson explains how negative campaigning, partisan politics, and contested elections have been part of our political system since the earliest days of the republic."

MUSIC & THE ARTS: Recorder lessons, with a fantastic teacher who is a great musician and teacher and also totally "gets" George. I've probably written about her before. She's really top-notch, teaching him the basics like reading music but also having him write his own pieces, and improvise as part of his daily practice, and play songs different ways expressing different things, etc. And church choir, with arguably the best choirmaster in town. (People who aren't even Episcopalian have been known to join the choir at our church to be able to work with him.) I was in a church choir briefly when I was a kid and I remember getting together every so often and learning some nice hymns and putting together a special program at Christmas and such, but this is something else. He really gives the kids a thorough musical education. I'm so glad George has taken to it. In addition to those things, we'll take him to concerts, plays, operas, art exhibits, etc., and of course expose him to plenty of rock and blues via Voodoo Highway :-)

PHYS ED: Tae Kwon Do... as close to 3 days a week as we can swing. Also, running around and playing outside both at the weekly homeschool playgroup and with the neighborhood kids after school, as long as the weather permits. I'm trying to talk George's dad into taking him to the park once a week for a bike ride. And I'm going to try to get George to come with me sometimes when I walk with Ben. Honestly, this will probably be the most challenging area to keep up with (I mean, once the pool is closed). I'm considering buying a trampoline... if I can find a cheap one that seems reasonably safe.

In addition to the subjects mentioned so far, he'll be participating in plenty of other group and individual activities, like "Cooking and Pop Culture" with my BFF Laurie, and Chess Club, and Campfire Kids (kind of like a more hippie version of Boy Scouts), and Shakespeare in the spring, and probably Odyssey of the Mind, etc. etc. Also, he'll have various daily/weekly chores. So, he'll be keeping busy!

I'm hoping to strike a good balance this year, giving him just enough structure so that he can really thrive, but also giving him freedom to run with his interests. I'm not so concerned that he cover everything that a 5th grader would cover in public school. My approach is more that I want him to be able to explore what he's passionate about, while continuing to develop his talents and skills that will serve him in whatever his future endeavors will be (most likely including--but not limited to--college). And I want him to have a great time doing it. And I want to be able to facilitate it all while still being able to devote ample time and energy to my job. And my new baby. And stepkids. And marriage. And the band. And.... Well, you get the idea. Wish me luck.

The Unschooling thing

Unschooling has been on my mind a lot lately, pretty much ever since I went to the unschooling conference earlier last month and discovered that I'm not really an unschooler. Well, not a real one, anyway. Turns out to be a true unschooler you pretty much have to not insist on anything from your child. It's not just a homeschooling approach; it's a parenting philosophy as well. If there's something you want your child to do (being helpful around the house, or being polite, for example), you lead by example and can talk to them about what's important from your perspective, but leave it completely up to them whether or not they follow. Unschoolers also do not worry about what their children are or aren't learning--it is completely up to the child what to focus on and when. You might think that this sounds like neglect, but from what I've seen nothing could be further from the truth. The parents I've encountered who choose this style of homeschooling/parenting are extraordinarily dedicated parents, who work hard to provide all sorts of educational opportunities in areas where their kids express interest. And the unschooled kids I met at the conference seemed, actually, to be very nice kids (articulate, interesting, well-socialized, "together", etc.). Here's a definition of radical unschooling that I found on an unschooling site:

Unschooling will look different in different families, and "radical unschooling" simply means extending the philosophy of unschooling (that children will learn what they need to know when they are ready and want to learn it) into every other aspect of life (i.e. children will go to sleep when they are tired, eat when they are hungry, and will learn to be a functioning, helpful member of a family/household without being forced/required to do things like chores, given punishments, limited on tv/videogames, etc.)

I find this concept to be both intriguing and kind of horrifying. It goes counter to so many things in our society (which could be both a plus and a minus, I suppose).

Children who are unschooled often take classes and follow curricula--*if* and when they so choose. Parents who unschool their children say that their kids hardly ever spend the whole day watching tv or playing video games; they say that because these things are not limited, their children aren't obsessed with them. I see the logic in this argument; I really do. And when George had lice last fall, and I told him he could do whatever he wanted until it cleared up, he did spend about three full days on his Nintendo DS but then was quite bored with it and went back to reading. Does that prove the point? Well, I must admit that it kind of does. Do I continue to limit his game/tv time? Well, yes I do. But back to that in a minute.

There are two separate but of course related issues here, one having to do with parenting in general and one having to do with schooling. I'm actually grappling more with the schooling end of things. I'm pretty happy with my parenting in general and also with the person George is turning out to be. Of course I believe that in any area there is always room for improvement, so I am enjoying being on an unschoolers list-serv and considering the different points of view presented there.

But I feel like George and I have a pretty authentic, balanced, respectful, trusting relationship (not unlike the relationship I had with my parents when I was growing up), despite the fact that on occasion there is an imbalance of power. Because I've been around a lot longer than he has, there are some things that I know that he doesn't. And while I'm always willing to listen to and consider his point of view, and will follow it on many things, I feel that insisting on certain things like a bedtime is truly in his best interests. When he doesn't get enough sleep he becomes very irritable and difficult to be around, which adversely affects both him and everyone around him. He really turns into a different kid. Argumentative, edgy, angry, volatile, sometimes even explosive. I understand; I become those things, too, when I haven't had enough sleep! I truly do. As an adult, I do my best to insure that I get at least a minimum of sleep so that that doesn't happen too much. But I can't expect George to do that for himself, not when it would mean voluntarily removing himself from whatever is going on with the rest of the family pretty much every evening (George wakes up early, no matter what, so he has to go to bed by about 8 or so. My husband and I stay up a bit later than that, of course, and when my stepkids are here, they are also allowed to stay up until at least 9--they generally sleep a bit later than George does). This is one example--actually, the main one (though a similar phenomenon happens when he has too much screen time)--where I feel it works best for our family and for George himself for me to insist on something from him.

Back to academics.... The theory, as stated above, says that kids will learn what they need when they need it, and it's not up to us to force-feed them anything at all. This sounds pretty radical, yes. But there are so many examples I've heard of since I've really been looking into this lately. Mostly having to do with math/science, which coincidentally is what's most on my mind. One unschooled girl was never required to do any math and when she was of high school age she was doing a building project of some sort that was important to her, and she suddenly found that she needed a mathematical formula to figure something out. She went right to the computer and did a little research, and within 15 minutes had found the formula and figured out how to use it. Another kid decided she really wanted to go to college and found out that there was an entrance requirement of chemistry, in which she lacked any interest or training. She decided to take an online college-level chemistry class, worked really hard for the duration of the term, and got an A. Getting either of these kids to study these things sooner, when they really didn't see the point and had no interest in them, would likely have produced different (less desirable) results.

At the same time, as I've stated before, I am a proponent of a well-rounded education. I believe that people benefit from studying different things. Even things they aren't particularly interested in. That each discipline has its own way(s) of seeing the world, and that one can only benefit from being exposed to such diversity of perspective. Plus, you might discover that you love something you didn't know you would in advance. An example: I thought I hated "literature". Don't get me wrong; I always loved to read. But I had a series of English teachers in high school who did not inspire in me a love of studying literature. I thought it was sort of imprecise and annoying to try to analyze literature. Fast forward to college: I decided to be a French major, mostly because I loved traveling. (I had initially wanted to be a math major, but had a bad experience in honors calculus my first semester and never took math again.) At a certain point I ran out of language/culture/cinema courses in French and was forced to start taking literature courses my senior year in order to finish my major. Well, with the right professors, I suddenly found that I *loved* studying and analyzing literature. Something finally clicked, and I went on to grad school (in Italian) and became a professor. Now I spend much of my life analyzing literature and teaching others how to do it. And I love it. I really do. But if I hadn't been required to look into it further as part of my studies, I never would have discovered that.

But what about George? What about how much he's hating math right now? How much do I insist that he stick with it? Perhaps there's a happy medium. I actually do believe that he could pick it up pretty quickly, later, if it were to serve a purpose he valued, and I kind of feel like all he's learning right now is a hatred for and frustration with math, which is certainly something I do *not* want to teach him! I recently read a really interesting article, in fact, about a highly successful experiment in which the teaching of math was delayed until middle school. Those kids actually ended up with a better understanding of math than their peers who had been taught the basics all along. (The real problem with the math George is doing right now--which my husband, a former middle-school math teacher, says is about early 7th-grade level--is that it is too repetitive, and it's killing him. So I'm thinking of letting him drop it entirely for now and starting up with a new program sometime next year, when he's recovered a bit.)

This post is already getting kind of long, but I am also wondering how much to insist on things like writing from him. He's already a really good writer. How much do I push him to work on his writing skills, and how much do I let him just run free with them, working on them when he feels inspired to do so? I like the idea of letting his own creativity and drive be his guides. On the other hand, it's not a bad thing to learn how to write (or do math, or work in general) even when you're not feeling particularly inspired to do so.

Anyway, for right now, unschooling (academically, at least) is working pretty well for me--I know George is ahead of the game in everything at this point, and I'm 8 months pregnant with increasingly limited energy and under a fair amount of pressure with my own work. Work that I do, yes, because I feel inspired to do it--sometimes. But also because I *have* to do it (if I want to keep a roof over my head, etc.), and it's a pretty good thing that I've learned to work even when I don't particularly feel like it.

So, despite my current flirtation with radical unschooling, I think I'll likely continue, in the future, to embrace my own little combination of approaches to both homeschooling and parenting. I'll keep looking into a variety of approaches, taking what feels right to me and leaving the rest, figuring it out as I go along. And then figuring it out all over again, as needs and situations always seem to be changing!

Quick math update

So, I backed way off on the math thing, and apologized to George for having been overbearing and impatient about it, and guess what? We're almost totally back on track with it. He's not absolutely loving it, but he's had a few good sessions in a row and is really motivated with it again. Most importantly, he has in general returned to his enthusiastic self.

I hope I've really learned the lesson this time, to listen to my kid, and to respect his own internal rhythms a bit more. He knows when he needs a break. And it may or may not coincide with when I want him to take one. But when he truly needs it and I push him harder instead of giving it to him, it just doesn't work. And I end up sort of traumatizing him in the process! I need to remember that he pushes himself plenty hard overall, in many directions; apart from general guidance or specific help when he needs it, and gentle reminders here and there, I should just back the heck off. And save my slave-driving for myself!

Wrestling with my inner control freak

So, writing that post yesterday, and observing with renewed attention George's behavior and attitude today, I realize that I've slipped back into my slave-driver mentality this week. There are so many forces at work (both internal and external) that validate that mentality for me.... And it's so easy to forget who I'm dealing with here--not that being a control-freak-nazi-slave-driver would work particularly well with any kid. But the point is, George is plenty driven. He doesn't need me riding him so hard to make him learn! When I do that, it just burns him out. Listen to your kid, remember? He understands his own needs better than you might think.

When I'm pushing him too hard, it's because I'm noticing that he's slacking off a lot, but when he's slacking off a lot, it's always because he somehow knows he needs it. I'm not talking now about when he'll try to avoid doing something like brushing his teeth and he needs a little push in the general direction of the bathroom sink. I'm talking about when he starts to get an overall lack of enthusiasm for everything, even the things he normally loves. Which I really noticed today, when I was paying particular attention to *him* and not just to my own agenda.

And for cryin' out loud, who says he has to complete advanced 5th-grade math in 3 months? He's not even in 5th grade yet and even if he were, why should he be pressured to finish a whole year in 3 months? Just because I've paid a %$&^load of money for it? That's just dumb. Like forcing yourself to overeat at the buffet or something, because no matter what you want to make sure you get your money's worth. Or making yourself wear really uncomfortable-but-expensive shoes that you bought on a whim, because even if you're making yourself completely miserable, again, you're gonna get your money's worth, come hell or high water. Ha.

I *know* all of this, and yet somehow I can so easily forget it. Especially when I'm in a particularly intense period with my own work. And I guess I'm feeling the pressure with that and also with a baby on the way, like soon I won't have enough time and energy to make sure he's doing his math, so I'd better work hard to make sure he gets as much done as possible, right now. But he has his own needs and his own internal pace. His own comfort level with processing, absorbing, learning. And it absolutely needs to be taken into account. In fact, it really needs to be what guides his education. Any teacher worth her salt should know that!

It can just be hard to quiet the voices inside (and outside) my head--subtle though they may be--that express worry that he won't learn the value or the satisfaction of hard work and discipline, or that I'm letting his mind and talents go to waste or something. Again, it goes right back to the issues in my very first blog post, where I was grappling with the question of whether or not I was pushing him too hard or not enough (guess which one it was). I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that I'm having to relearn a lesson that I thought I had already mastered. That just kinda seems to come with the territory of, well, life. On some things, anyway. Two steps forward, one step back....

Homeschooling again...

I initially started this blog to sort through my experiences as a new (or at least, newly full-time) homeschooler, but things had been going so smoothly in 2010 (at least as far as homeschooling!) that I really didn't have much to write about. Well, I do still have a lot to write about unschooling, but, anyway, now a problem has arisen that I do really want to address.

The problem is (surprise): math.

5th-grade math is so tedious! At least, the course George is doing now. The awful part is that they keep drilling him on fractions (improper, equivalent, etc.), and on long division and multiplication, and he's just tearing his hair out with it. His frustration level is so high that he has been crying almost every day with it. I gave him a long break in January, and then another week-long break for the unschooling conference, so although I can tell he could probably use another break, I've not been feeling inclined to give it to him. I have let him skip the last two days, though. The trouble is, the course is so darned expensive. I hate to let days go by without his making progress.

I guess even more than that, though, I hate having him develop an attitude about math. I have been telling him that I, who *loved* math in high school, hate this kind of stuff, too. It's boring, repetitive computation. The math I love is the more conceptual, logical stuff, and I just know he's going to love that, too. I mean, he does love it when he gets to do it. There's just too much emphasis on the computation right now, and it has zapped all the fun out of the rest of it for him.

It's making him miserable. And by extension, it's making me miserable. It's a particularly busy/productive time for me as I try to get as much accomplished as I can before the baby is born. But it's hard to focus on my work when George is crying over his math in the next room! He gets all frustrated and then he makes a minor error and gets the problem wrong, and then that sets him off. I've been sticking to the line of making him push through it, but it's not really working.

And call me a softy, but I don't think math should be torture. I don't think it should be excruciatingly dull. Cleaning the cat box, waiting in a long line, tidying his room, now those things can be tedious or boring. But I want him to love learning!

So, I've been looking into alternatives. I'd been hearing about Life of Fred for quite awhile, and we checked it out of the library. He does like it! The series claims to teach all the math you need to know from fractions through second-year college math or so. But it's hard to believe that it's really sufficient. The books are so short and are also written in a story format. They are very funny. They tell the story of Fred, a 5-yr-old boy who goes to college. All the math is taught in the context of things he comes across in his life. Then there are little tests that you have to pass before you can move on to find out what happens in the next chapter. It's really, really clever, and also teaches little smatterings of philosophy and rhetoric and such along the way. I love it, and George likes it as well, but I am definitely having a hard time believing it's as thorough as it really needs to be.

I also found that after the next couple of levels CTY math goes from EPGY to Thinkwell. And when I went to the Thinkwell website, I saw that the lowest level looks like it covers stuff he's doing right now. And it looks a lot less dry. AND it's a LOT cheaper. Part of why I feel pressured to keep pushing George is how much money this course is costing; even though it is an entire year of math, he's supposed to be able to do it in 3 months, and if he goes over the three months we have to pay more. But with Thinkwell you pay way less and you have an entire year to finish the course. BETTER! If I feel like he needs a break, or to focus on other subjects for awhile, I don't have to sweat it.

So, I'm contemplating having him do the Thinkwell placement test tomorrow, to see what he can place into. If he can place high enough, I won't feel too bad about abandoning the CTY/EPGY class in the middle. (I don't know why I'm reluctant or afraid to abandon the current course for the Life of Fred. But I am.) We can use the unused credit for another CTY course, I believe. (He's expressed an interest in their cryptography course.)

That's my plan, I think. The CTY courses have felt like such a safety net--they were what gave me the confidence to start homeschooling George full-time in the first place. Taking on homeschooling is such an awesome responsibility, and I felt that as long as the basics (math and reading, and eventually science) were being covered by this program for gifted kids run through Johns Hopkins and Stanford, well, then he was clearly getting an outstanding education. But it's not working so well anymore.

And part of what's so wonderful about homeschooling is that you can be completely flexible and tailor the whole thing to what is working for your kid. So maybe it's time to accept that this program has, for now, served its purpose, and it's time to move on.

Yes. I want his learning to be joyful. Challenging *and* fun. I really think it ought to be so, at least most of the time.

Listening to my kid

George and I are not in agreement regarding how long his break from math should last. But I think I'm going to follow his lead on this one. After all, he's technically at the beginning of 4th grade, and he just finished 4th-grade math, so it's not like he's falling behind.

It's just that once he's done with 5th-grade math, there are all sorts of cool courses he'll be eligible to take with CTY (namely, a middle school science series, and a cryptography course that he's quite interested in), and I'm eager for him to be able to start with those. (I think that we'll probably alternate online science and math courses once he gets to that point.) Plus, the achiever in me wants to see him accomplish more, more, more! But I'm really trying to resist that impulse, because it's not even about him.

The only real consideration here is that I don't want him to lose what he's learned. But I can address that by making sure that he does some math worksheets or workbooks, and that we keep playing his math card games, on a regular (if not daily) basis.

I don't think I would have had the guts to do this last year, to let him make the call on how long his math postponement would be. But I know he'll want to get back to it. He's very excited about the cryptography course, and he's also eager to get a math computer game offered by CTY (Descartes' Cove) that is for kids who have completed 5th-grade math. Plus, last year when I denied him a break when he had asked for it, math became intensely unpleasant for him, something he dreaded on a daily basis. When I relented and let him take a 3-week break, he did return to it with renewed enthusiasm. So I am fairly confident that when he feels ready he'll come back to it.

But what about kids in school who have to do math every day, whether they like it or not?! Shouldn't I make him do stuff he doesn't want to do? Isn't that part of life? Isn't that a skill he'll need in order to succeed "out in the world"?

Actually, he does plenty of things every day that he doesn't want to do. He has daily chores, and some of them--such as cleaning the cat box--are no doubt even more unpleasant than some of the awful things he'd have to be doing in school (LOL). Then there are matters such as complying with my sometimes quite stringent limits on tv and video games, having to brush his teeth and hair every day (neither of which he likes at all!), having to go to bed earlier than his younger step-sister (she sleeps in; he doesn't), having to negotiate with his step-siblings about all sorts of things, etc. etc. So, honestly, rather than make him continue with his math right now when he's feeling burned out, I think it's a better use of our time and energy to insist that he stick with his chores (and that he continue to do academic work in other areas, of course). As long as he is making adequate progress in academics overall, which he surely is, to me the rest is not so important.

Besides, the math that he's doing is much more intense than the math he'd be doing at school, so I do think it's fair to let him recover from that intensity before he delves into it again. In fact, the tutor that CTY assigned to us said that lots of kids find that they need a substantial break in between the classes, to do other more "fun" things with math. So I'm following my new, experience-based instincts, and letting it go. It will be interesting to see how this experiment turns out!

A+!

Whipped cream or no, George rocked his math exam! 97% on the exam, and A+ for his final grade in the course. (This vindicates my bribery, right?!) George doesn't know yet--I got the results by e-mail after he'd gone to bed--but I know he's going to be thrilled. I'm extra proud of him because of how hard he worked to earn that A+. With all of our school meanderings, he had fallen a bit behind in math, relatively speaking at least. With this triumph over 4th-grade math, I think we can officially say he's more than caught up.

When he finished his exam last week, he told me that he wanted to take a little break from math (it's individually paced, so we can stop the clock anytime we like). I won't repeat the mistake I made last spring by not listening to him when he says he needs a break! Despite the fact that math is what has been giving the most structure to each of our days, I'm giving him no resistance on this. I now know that he knows perfectly well when he needs a break. And he's certainly earned this one.

What we're going to do for the structured part of our daily learning in the mean time is to focus on writing. He's starting a blog (The Book Night Crawler), where he will post reviews of his favorite books. That will replace math for a bit in our morning routine, to be worked on right after breakfast, along with his household chores and recorder practice.

In any case, he's getting more and more structure in his schedule all the time: he started Tae Kwon Do yesterday, which he loves and will be doing twice a week, and tomorrow he starts back up with recorder lessons. I also have several caregivers in place now who are working with him on various things (science projects, creative writing, cooking, social studies, etc.--none in any kind of formal way, mind you).

We're definitely off and running.

Clearly, I'm not above bribery

On George's agenda when we woke up today was finishing the final exam for his EPGY 4th-grade math class. He had nearly finished it yesterday but ran out of time before we had to leave for a dentist appointment. He had left the long division section until last, because it's the thing that is the toughest/least fun for him. Although he had only one question left to do today, he really didn't want to do it! He had worked so intensely on this over the last several days (reviewing before starting the actual test) that I could see he was just having trouble getting ready to face it again today. Usually we do math first thing in the morning, and I'm pretty strict about it, but I let him read for a while instead (A Wind in the Door).

I had told him that when he finished his exam we'd celebrate by having afternoon tea (believe it or not he had actually been asking me for this for some time). But not even the lure of scones and whipped cream could entice him to the table to do that one last problem. I told him that he could read until 10:00, and then he'd have to stop and do his math and clean the cat boxes. At 10 he cleaned the boxes as requested, but I could see in his face that he was dreading facing the math, and I didn't want him to be approaching it with that kind of attitude--he was really down, worn out, exhausted, and it just didn't seem like he had it in him to do it.

So I thought fast and came up with a plan. I told him that the second he was done with that problem I was going to take the can of whipped cream and squirt it right into his mouth. His whole face lit up, and he asked, "Really?!" He couldn't quite believe that I was going to do it. I told him yes, I was, and that he'd better have a napkin ready because I was going to squirt so much in there it probably wouldn't all fit. He was utterly delighted by this proposition, and raced to the table. Before he started he looked at me one more time and said, "You're really going to do that?" And I went and got the can and said, "Yes, and I think you need just a little shot before starting, don't you? Open up!" and I squirted a small dollop in there. The sparkle in his eye had returned, along with his motivation. He powered right through that problem, and checked over his work on the rest of the exam, in record time. He got his mouthful of whipped cream, as promised. Followed by tea (from my grandmother's tea pot, in cups from her tea set), scones, jam, and of course, more whipped cream. It was lovely, and I was so proud of my little scholar.

I know, I know--using food (sugary, *bad* food, at that) as a reward for math is probably not the very best idea. But hey, sometimes you really just have to go with what works.

After tea we tidied up a bit, and then went out to the opera, for a musical version of Little Red Riding Hood (which we both loved--it was hilariously entertaining). After the opera we came back home and spent the rest of the afternoon hosting a little pool party for some homeschool friends. (Phys Ed, you know. Plus, as people seem to love to remind us, homeschooled kids need their socialization!) Probably it will have been the last pool party of the season, as the weather seems like it's taking a turn for the colder.

All in all, another great day in homeschoolville.

Making it work... or So far, so good

I've been telling myself that we're easing into a full schedule, but I think it's time to call it what it really is: an experiment with unschooling. So far, I'm loving it, and so is George. I'm realizing more and more just how intense last year was, even at the end when we were homeschooling full-time. Our schedule was jam-packed, and very hectic. George was only doing two classes online, but in addition to that we were doing lots of classes and lessons and activities locally, plus he had a fairly heavy chore schedule at home. Plus, he was shuttled around a lot from place to place with many different caregivers/tutors, because of my schedule. Plus, the two courses he was doing online were pretty intense....

So, we're taking it a bit easy. Math (EPGY, online) is the only academic thing we're doing in a formal way. We'll be starting back up with his recorder lessons soon, and the homeschool field-trip schedule is picking up, and Friday we'll also be starting a homeschool swim/gym program at the YMCA that includes a Spanish class as well. Oh yeah, and George has also joined the church choir, which is actually a pretty serious choir with a big musical education component. We'll also be checking into Tae Kwon Do. Whew, doesn't sound like we'll be taking it so easy for much longer!

Our morning routine usually goes something like this: we wake up early, before either of us is really ready for breakfast, and we often start out watching some sort of social-studies-themed documentary. There's an endless supply to TiVo on cable, and many of them are quite interesting. He's a pretty sophisticated viewer, and often likes to dissect both the presentation and the content with me, so he's also getting an education in rhetoric and the media! Then we have breakfast and tea, during which we either do a round or two of Mad Libs (great for reinforcing the parts of speech, even though to be honest he has had those down pat for quite some time) or play one of his math card games (although he's doing pretty advanced math, his math facts can still use some reinforcement). After breakfast he does some household chore or other while I clean up. It's usually about 9 or so by this time, and we head to the computers--he to a desktop in his stepsister's room (it's the least-worst of the house computers) and I to my laptop, in the same room. He does his math, and I start on my work. At this point I choose something to do that doesn't require uninterrupted concentration on my part, as he sometimes either has a question or needs a little redirecting (his mind can wander a bit, particularly when the computer gets slow or when the work gets a little too easy and he starts embellishing to make it more interesting).

Once he's done with his math, I pretty much let him go off and running with whatever he wants (um, except for watching tv), while I focus more intently on my work. Some days he pours over these Greek mythology/monster cards that he has, making up games with them but also drawing all sorts of interesting parallels and conclusions about the various gods and creatures. He's definitely learning the basics of Greek mythology better than I ever did in grade school (this also due to his love of the Percy Jackson book series). Other days he writes stories and comics. Most days he also reads voraciously, as he has always been wont to do. And yes, I even experimented with letting him play his favorite computer game for much of the afternoon (Poptropica). He actually got bored with it, and with playing on the computer in general, which I never thought I'd see!

At some point in the afternoon I take a break for phys ed, and I either twist his arm into going on a walk with me (he rides his scooter), or we play tennis, or swim (those days are numbered!), or some combination thereof. Then later in the afternoon, when school has let out, he often plays with the kids from the neighborhood, while I continue working. I'm teaching in the evening this semester, so my husband can cover most of those hours with him, and I have various sitters set up to come over during those times when I have office hours/meetings/other obligations (usually in the afternoons, so most days our morning routine can stay intact).

Although I won't deny that it's a lot for me to handle, I will say that it's working out much better than I feared. I can actually get quite a lot of work done with this set up, because George is really great about leaving me alone when I tell him I need it. Part of that is due to his temperament, but I think it's also that I spend that quality time with him first thing in the morning, which starts his day out right.

If I had time, I'd read a bunch of books about unschooling, and would feel like I really knew what I was doing.... But actually, I do feel like I know what I'm doing! I'm both following my instincts regarding what my kid needs, and doing what I need to do to make it work for me as well. Come to think of it, that's pretty much been at the core of my parenting since George was a baby.

I'm sure our approach to schooling will continue to evolve over time. Homeschooling, like parenting, is definitely a process. For now, he's thriving, and it's working for me. I'm good with that.

Note to Self: Listen to Your Kid

You'd think that since my semester is over I'd have all the time in the world to write in here (and to do all kinds of things, for that matter), but of course it doesn't really work that way. However, if you could see how much tidier my house is than it was a couple of weeks ago, you'd see that I have indeed been accomplishing something of great magnitude! Plus several projects at work needed attention (classes are over, but there's always more work to be done), plus I've been really busy with the band... but that's another story. What I want to write about is math.

Ok, not math per se, but how math had become such a struggle, when initially George was loving it. When he started his online EPGY math class back in March, he was so excited you'd have thought I'd signed him up for an online video game service. Sure, he needed reminding to work on it some days, but I never had to push him. That all changed in California over Easter (when I should have let him take a break for the week, but instead insisted on making him work pretty much every day). When we got back he just never wanted to do it, and when he expressed to me that he needed a vacation, I didn't listen right away. Honestly, I was thinking that it was kind of a lame excuse. Don't ask me why--I myself *certainly* needed a break from work, and didn't grade any of the papers I had brought with me to CA. Anyway, I finally gave him the break he'd been asking for, but if you've read the previous post, you'll know it didn't seem to be working.

Turns out I just needed to give it a chance. He recently started back up with the math, and guess what? He loves it again. Yes, I still have to remind him to do it most days, but he's genuinely enjoying it. So, it seems, he wasn't just making up excuses; he really knew what he needed. And what he needed was pretty reasonable.

A vacation, like everyone else around him got.